01/17/11 We have lost a good friend and taffer - *Zaccheus* (see latest posts)

RocketMan on 27/6/2010 at 17:05

Having read your medical history on your blog I think it's pretty incredible that this shit keeps moving around and you keep shooting it down. The fact that you're alive today is a testiment to your will to live, your body's resiliance and medical science. No matter what happens I hope you remember that this thing didn't have an easy time of it. I hope you continue to give it hell.

Human mortality is not an easy concept to understand or to come to terms with. You can think about it all you want and never quite feel the gravity of it until you're going through something terminal yourself. I think the uncertainty is a part of what makes the concept so frightful. I'm confident you'll learn its meaning to you in your own way and that it will help.

Printer's Devil on 27/6/2010 at 20:05

Good luck, Zaccheus. Hang on and fight when you can. Long odds doesn't mean no odds, and every case brings us a bit closer to reining in cancer for good. My mother worked at PMH (cancer specialists) in Toronto, and believe me, the science and medicine is advancing. Ask the doctors or nurses for advice on staying positive--they have helped plenty of folks in your predicament, but may seem a bit distant due to the nature of the job.

Tocky on 28/6/2010 at 04:21

You know better than any of us to treasure the time you have. I just want to say thank you for giving us some of it. I knew from the crippled burrick site that you have been in a battle for awhile and I hoped it was won. We all lose in the end though. I hope it's a long way off for you but more than that I wish you enjoy every second you have however many.

*Zaccheus* on 28/6/2010 at 13:30

Thanks for your messages of support, everyone, they really do help me.

In my latest blog entry I'm talking about why Thief - The Dark Project is one of my favourite games, here's a direct link: (http://www.christiandoctrinediscussion.com/blogs/zack/179-news-sun-27th-june-2010.html) News - Sun 27th June 2010, Thief

Thinking about it, this old laptop might just be able to cope with running the game, I'll have to give it a try.

Marecki on 2/7/2010 at 03:07

Oh, man... I do hope for a miracle for you. Hang in there, mate!

*Zaccheus* on 2/7/2010 at 06:51

Quick heads up, for those who don't regularly follow the blog:

Had a very serious and positive chat with my assigned palative care person. She explained that in the vast majority of cases, their patients are not suffering or in pain when they reach the dying stage.

She predicts that I'll feel like I have less and less energy, wanting to spend more and more time in bed, and will simply not wake up one day. For me it means that it has become far easier to ignore what tomorrow might hold and get on with the enjoyable life I have today.

Thirith on 2/7/2010 at 09:01

I'm glad that the chat was a good one, even if it's about something so frightening.

This may be an odd point to make, but I think it'll help your family and friends that you're open about where this might end. My mother was diagnosed with brain metastases last year, and for the longest time she was in complete denial about her illness being a one-way street with only one possible end point. While her denial also gave her strength to deal with the treatment, it was difficult for us that we couldn't talk to her about what was happening. In the end she did open up to me one time to talk about the likelihood of her dying very soon, and I was glad for that one conversation. It was really hard for my dad and sister, though, not to be able to have that talk with her.

For what it's worth, you're in my prayers. If there is a God, He'd better take good care of you!

Duncan on 2/7/2010 at 13:33

Damn Zac I'm sorry to hear this. You're one hell of a guy. Stay strong mate.

*Zaccheus* on 2/7/2010 at 21:51

Zaccheus remembers to get round to actually changing his user settings to 'automatically subscribe'.

Quote Posted by Thirith

My mother was diagnosed with brain metastases last year, and for the longest time she was in complete denial about her illness being a one-way street with only one possible end point.

True clinical denial is a serious problem, and I adress it in one of my blog entries.

The harsh conclusion I've reached after years of fighting cancer is actually quite simple: (a) life still goes on (b) everyone dies.

Quote Posted by Thirith

For what it's worth, you're in my prayers. If there is a God, He'd better take good care of you!

Thank you, it's appreciated.

jay pettitt on 3/7/2010 at 20:42