Spamlet on 1/12/2001 at 09:06
Ok here's a few jokey ones to start with:
<br />1783) You get T-shirts made that say "WWND?" and "WWLD?" ("What Would Nightwalker Do?" and "What Would Lytha Do?").
1784) You play while sleepwalking.
1785) In that somnambulent state you are still able to beat "Bafford's" on expert in under 20 minutes.
1786) Your blackjack has an odometer on it.
1787) Which has flipped back over to "000000" fourteen times.
1788) You can't belong to any of the clans because you fear it would take too much time away from playing.
1789) You're so familiar with the AI that you've given them each nicknames like "Johnny No Neck", "Isaac Hammerman", "Pickled Stu" and "Sleep Deprived Todd".
1790) This habit leads you to develop your own new style of play: "Dennis Miller mode" in which every time you encounter an AI you must immediately verbally assault them (preferably with an obscure reference such as "Oh Yeah babe, nice outfit. Who are you supposed to be? The guitarist from Air Supply? Get some fashion sense, Chaaachiii!").
1791) You estimate your Garrett weighs just over 690 pounds because of the enormous quantity of Deer Legs, Cheese, cucumbers and apples he gorges himself on.
1792) In a related cheese note: You enjoy being constipated because you think you sound like our hero when he's overexerting himself.
1793) You take the above pride to the next step by referring to your costiveness as "having weapons trouble" or "mantling" ( Friend: "Are you OK in there?" You: "Sure am, I'm just doin' some mantling!").
As hard as it may be to believe, the rest of these are all true of me:
1794) You install a recliner to take the place of the traditional computer accessory: the swivel chair.
1795) You've been late for important appointments because you lost track of time while playing an FM.
1796) You dress as Garrett for Halloween (I used a rolled up pair of black dress socks for the blackjack).
1797) You've skipped work just to play FM's all day long.
1798) You seriously consider naming your first-born son "Garrett".
1799) You seriously consider naming your first-born daughter "Calendra".
1800) Your love of Thief is so overpowering that it becomes contagious to the point of turnig your family members, friends and friends' family members into your extended Thief family. Marvel at the chain reaction:
1801) Your sister's fiancee is laid off due to an injured arm. He's a snap to convert once he watches you playing all the time.
1802) You realize you'd better get your girlfriend hooked too so that your endless jabbering on about the game will make sense.
1803) Girlfriend takes a copy of the game down with her on her trip to visit her brother and his girlfriend out of state. She gets them playing it.
1804) Your girlfriend's mom has her curiosity piqued once you explain to her how many people of her sex and/or age range there are who play too (you use our Goddess Nightwalker as your primary example).
1805) After you've gotten both daughter and mom addicted they end up playing on a laptop after their Thanksgiving dessert and cause the rest of girlfriend's family to become interested.
1806) While playing, your 2 and 3 year old nieces notice your activity and ask what the game is. You innocently and without thinking about the consequences reply: "Hide and Seek" (you can see where this is going).
1807) The 2 year old soon becomes your cheerleader sitting in the recliner with you; exuberantly encouraging you to "knock that bad guy over!" and having the time of her life when you climb up rope arrows and ladders which she accompanies with a "Wheeeeee!" every single time.
1808) At the baptism of your newborn niece (for whom you are the godfather) you are accused by the aforementioned sister's fiancee that you were coveting the holy water while you stood up there during the ceremony.
1809) On the evening of September 11th, when it all got too much, you found calm and comfort through the escapism the game offered.
1810) The week you finally had to put the kitty who had been your best friend for 15 years to sleep, you amazingly found calm and comfort from "Thief" again because you couldn't believe you'd ever stop grieving.
1811) You attempt to imitate for your girlfriend over the phone the hilarious scolding a priest was giving about "cluttering the design of the Staaairrwaaaaayy" in an FM you were playing ("Hammer Asylum" aka "Ducal"). You instead end up playing the wave file over the phone for her. She loves it so much you play it enough times that she is able to transcribe it word for word, which she does until you can email it to her.
1812) The next day, over her place while about to ascend to the second floor you mock scold her two dogs for "cluttering the design of the Staaairrwaaaayy". She almost pees her pants laughing so hard (Yep, it's official, my Megan: Ya rule.).
1813) While thumbing through a book of plays you're only toying with buying, you come across one titled "The Good Thief". You buy the book.
1814) While reading Conor McPherson's author's notes on that play you discover that the actor who first professionally performed this one man show was by an unbelievabe coincidence named...brace yourselves, fellow taffers...that's right- Garrett. (The book is titled "'The Weir' and other plays" for those of you who now need to check it out).
<br />This last section happened last night:
1815) You feel an unexpected urge to go to the "Babbages" at the mall down the street even though you have no substantial money with you. But you want to go mainly just to stare at their last remaining copy of "Thief Gold".
1816) Before you get to it a complete stranger asks you if you've played some game you've never played. After you explain you haven't he asks you what games are good (again, you see where this is going).
1817) Despite the fact that he wanted a console game, after an hour of explaining keyboard/mouse control superiority, you talk him into trying out his first PC game; which should, of course, be "Thief".
1818) You are aware of the fact that this particular "Babbages" has no copies of "T: DP" and that was your best shot at getting "TG" but you love this game so much you want everybody else in the world to experience how great it is. So, with a smile tinged with only the faintest hint of regret you watch the stranger buy it.
1819) You decide you've now made a new friend so you give the guy your phone number and name and explain to him that there's no way he's not gonna love the game but if he somehow doesn't...you'll be happy to take it off his hands.
1820) As he turns to go, you pickpocket the game right out of his hands (taking his wallet too, for good measure). OK, NO. I DIDN'T!
1821) Instead, thinking quickly like the true thief you are, you run back and catch up with him and ask him if his comp has a burner. You both end up equally happy.(I know you're all hating me now, but hey, I reasoned that since our beloved Looking Glass is out of business I'm not taking the money away from anyone but a multimillion dollar national video game store chain and that's something I can certainly live with.)
1822) You came up with 40 clues without even trying hard at all. <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: Spamlet ]</p>
The Cloaked Wolf on 15/12/2001 at 09:29
The following is absolutely true (and after posting about it on the main board realized I should probably add them to this list):
#1824<br />You get your nephews hooked on Thief.
#1825<br />You notice in your local area after a lengthy period of time that there's a large red fox who lives across the street from a small university, one who's always crossing the street to raid the university's dumpsters. You see him almost every day.
You decide to name him Garrett.
#1826<br />Whenever you and your nephews see him from that point on, you all joke things like, "Oh look! There goes cute, cuddly, sweet-looking, innocent little Garrett off to pillage and plunder the university again. Hope he bought a good supply of water arrows this time." <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
#1827<br />You buy one of your nephews a stuffed fox for his birthday, and watch with amusement as they name him Garrett.
#1828<br />You watch as your nephew starts playing with his new toy fox, making him sneak around the house in an exaggerated cartoony fashion while saying, "I'm Garrett, and I'm going to rob a bank!!!"
#1829<br />You watch in amazement as your nephew makes for his fox a blackjack (one of your sets of black dress socks).
#1830<br />You notice that your nephew never calls a blackjack a "blackjack". Instead, he calls it a "bonker".
#1831<br />Because, as he puts it, "Garrett BONKS people!"
#1832<br />You eventually undergo the experience of your nephew attempting to jokingly "bonk" YOU with his now-blackjack-armed toy fox.
#1833<br />You play along with it and collapse on to the floor "unconscious".
#1834<br />You then laugh as your nephew goes crazy trying to figure out how to make his toy fox carry you off! <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
Ok, I think that's enough.
<br />The above was all posted at the request of my two nephews, who are sitting here at this moment and wanted VERY BADLY to contribute something to this list. <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
<br />Oh, and just to be safe, I'd better add one more:
#1835<br />Your brother and sister-in-law, their parents, don't have a problem with any of this and find it hilarious. <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
