1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ... - by Mr Croft
Shard on 27/3/2002 at 07:48
1827: You memorize the pattern of ones and zeroes for the Thief 1 CD
1828: You memorize the pattern of ones and zeroes for the Thief 1 Gold CD, and can tell the difference between Thief 1, and Thief Gold by looking at the first two thousand bits.
1829: You memorize the pattern of ones and zeroes for both Thief 2 CDs
1830: You type all four into a hex editor at work, burn and install them, but then are horrified to find that you messed up one bit, so a color is off, then you are relieved because you remember that bit #45,443,559 should have been a zero instead of a one.
-Shard
Shard on 27/3/2002 at 08:17
1831: You consider doing your PHD thesis on the Keepers
1832: Instead of downloading the 1.33 patch, you manually type it in using notepad and 'charmap'
1833: You seriously consider sacrificing yourself to the Builder
1834: You spend two months traveling all over the country searching for a Keeper Compound
1835: You find one
1836: You successfully join
1837: When Ion Storm Austin finally announces the release date of Thief III, you shit
your pants, have a heart-attack, a brain-hemmorage, and an orgasm at the same time.
1838: Here comes a long one: Your face contorts as you consider that when Thief III is finally released, you will play it until the above 1,837 clues apply to you, and then, ISA will probably say that there won't be a Thief IV, and you realize that you don't have a reason to live anymore, so you sacrifice yourself to the Builder
--Shard
Master of RTS on 27/3/2002 at 14:33
:D :thumb: Very good Shard! *MrT applauds politely yet very enthusiastically*
Yes very good.
1839. You wait for Thief III to come out, discover that there won't be a Thief IV, sacrifice yourself to the Builder, then reload when you realize You could make it.
1840. You finish Thief IV, market it, sell over 3Mil copies around the world, then realize when your credit card bill comes that it was you all 3 million times.
1841. You discover a cure for Thief playing, then sacrifice yourself to the Builder in horror and self-pity.
C'mon People, let's get it up to 2K!
enchanter on 27/3/2002 at 17:10
1842: You start threads like this one. :ebil:
Goalistic on 27/3/2002 at 21:53
1843: Seeing the guards in thief, watching and hearing their funny comments and complaints and going about their guard duty, you're so enthralled that you decide to become one yourself. So you sign up at the local recruiter's office, go through the 10 weeks of royal HELL that is basic training or boot camp, complete your military occupational training, all so you can get guard duty or volunteer for it whenever possible, then stand there with a goofy grin and believing that now you too are a part of the Thief universe and can mutter such gems as "Standing around in the cold, damp and the dark really bites!" and "when can i be relieved so that i can go get my dinner?" or "They're probably talking about me behind my back and laughing at me right now!" and of course "No one throws me my rifle and says run, No one!" :erg:
Khamoon on 27/3/2002 at 22:03
1843 : You form a vigilante group dedicated to destroy those that would commit a sacrelage in the eyes of The Builder and copy Thief 1 or 2 for their friends.
1844 : Your group seem to all use very large sledgehammers to punish those that would be the copiers.
1845 : You go to school dressed in all black and a cloak, and when a group of Preps chase you to beat you up, you vanish, and blackjack them one by one.
1846 : You help a friend who is addicted to either drinking or substance abuse by giving them your copy of Thief, and they leave their abusive ways behind; and become addicts of Thief.
1847 : You become a Moderator.
Shard on 28/3/2002 at 02:27
We can do it guys! 2 grand is coming!!!
1848: You become a real thief...(:weird:yes this has been said, keep reading....)
1849: steal a billion or so...
1850: buy an island in the Atlantic
1851: Transform the island into 'The City' using the game and the 'Thief Map Project' as references...
1852: You spend half the money making sure to buy the right 'loot' to put in each building/area...
1853: You take a biochemistry class and genetically engineer a burrick...
1854: You 'borrow' money from various Swiss banks to finance the exact replica of the Lost City(complete with lava and burricks)
1855: After all that, you genetically engineer all the characters from the game
1856: After ten more years of 'borrowing' money and research, you figure out how to make fire elementals
1857: After all is complete, you 'play' the game in real life as if you were Garrett
I tried to think of more in this vein, but they started to get dumber...
--Shard
masterthief3 on 28/3/2002 at 05:07
1858: Every time you hear somone tap dancing, you run away in fear of a guard walking on tile.
1859: Your computer runs on DromEd-OS.
1860: You wake up one morning, only to find yourself in the lost city.
1861: Your favorite Breakfest cereal is DromEd Puffs™
1862: You become so addicted to Thief, you install it on your laptop and play it as your driving to work, and you get arrested for DUTIOT. (Driving Under The Influence Of Thief).
1863: You deside to figure out Thief's mechanics and complete the unfinished multiplayer mode on Thief II.
1864: You wander the streets wearing dark clothing and 'wittness' to people by handing out boxes of thief you bought from every computer store you could get to within a 50-mile radius.
1865: You start going to Night-School, and are marked absent every time.
1866: You decide to cave-exploring in search of 'taliasmans'.
1867: You have a burnt-out image of DromEd In your monitar.
1868: You have a burnt-out image of DromEd In your eyes.
1869: You walk around your house and wonder why every coin is not in a stack.
1870: You can open every lock in your house by 'locking' it like you do somtimes in the pirate's cove.
1871: Every time you pick up money, you hear a 'ching' sound.
1872: Everything that moves, lights up when you look at it.
1873: Your toilet is a block of tile, with a small cylindric-niche.
1874: You know Steven Russel.
1875: You can be a Jedi-Knight and block an archer's arrows with your sword. (I can).
1876: Every time somone turns on a light, you throw somthing at it, and shut it off. (Or smash the lightbulb, and keep it off.)
1877: You can wash away stains by shooting a stick with a water baloon on the tip, out of a bow.
1878: You go to the store and you 'know' how much money you have in your pocket by pressing your imaginary 'TAB' key, and looking at the lower-left corner of your eye.
1879: You know more about Thief then all of Looking Glass Studios' developers put together.
1880: You actualy 'know' the hammers.
1881: You hear the news that Thief III has been canceled, and you decide to play a 'real-life' version of Thief, to make-up for the lost fun of Thief III, and you actualy start thiveing.
1882: You take the word "Taffer" as a complement.
1883: You run around your house in the dark and start stealing your own property.
1884: Every time your hear a belch, you run away.
1885: Your house is an exact replica of Garrett's.
1886: The only communication to the outside world for you, is through thease forums.
1887: Your middle name is "Taffer".
1888: Your first name Is "Garrett".
1889: You are suddonly sucked through your monitar, into the world of Thief, and you say to yourself "I could get used to this", and you use dromed to build yourself a house, and you live happily ever after.
1890: You know the 'credits' list by heart.
1891: You can actualy talk to the guards.
1892: You carry a sword everywhere you go.
1893: You have memorised every member of this forum.
1894: You look out your window and say, "Wow, I got a smooth frame-rate".
1895: You actualy build a mech, and set it on patrol, then you have fun in your spare time by trying to sneak past it.
1896: Your computer is made of stone.
1897: You look down and say, "Huh? I thought I couldn't see my legs?".
1898: Being in brightly-lit areas make you nervis.
1899: You wonder how many poly's your monitar is.
1900: You decide to lock yourself into your room until Thief III is released.
Nethawk on 28/3/2002 at 06:49
Oh what the hell...;)
You catch someone stealing something from your work and you don't report him/her because as a Thief addict you can relate. You even find yourself wishing that the person will escape undetected. Yup, done that:erm:
tootired on 28/3/2002 at 08:48
(1902?) you glue test tubes full of water to arrows to extinguish your birthday candles.
