1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

TheivingME on 19/12/2003 at 16:59

2537: After going back to the forum after posting in '1000 reasons u have played thief too much' u realise there is only one post left until the 700th, rush back in in the fear someone might beat u too it.

2538: U see some pot smokers on a park bench and ask them if u can have some shroom. They reply with... 'these aint majic mushrooms m8, this is weed' U leave feeling distinctly confused, never heard of any drug apart from good old shroom tea.

ionia23 on 19/12/2003 at 18:03

2539: You've just beaten "The Metal Age" for the 17th time, convinced the ending will be "different" this time.

TheivingME on 19/12/2003 at 19:16

2540: and when finding that the game does not have a 'metal gear solid' style ending scream at Karres for not picking up that after being killed 16 times in the same way he does not stand much chance of getting it right this time.

Then you remember thief is not real

Then u remember its real to you, so therefore must be real, and continue to scream at karress for being a dumb f**k.

2541: you go to church armed with the following... holy water, blessed by the builder, the 'holy water' the priests make in the church is totally phony.

Fire Arrows (match on the end of a lolly stick)

Water arrows (water balloon on the end of lolly stick)]

Flash bombs (real ones cost too much so its just a metal case which you say flashes)

mines ( once again too expensive and/or illegal so its a metal case with a lot of baking soda in it)

And are distinctly dissapointed when no zombies come out of the church's graveyard.

CobbleNob on 20/12/2003 at 16:27

2542: you walk around steats wearing long black cloaks and hiding in corners. The police find you half way up a street lamp trying to bash out the light with a big black stick!

2543: you end up knowing the whole script from "I'm goin' down to the bear pits tommorow, you wanna come with?" to Caras's dying scream.

2544: when going round the house you naturally step on the carpet and miss out the flag stones and creaky floorboards.

2545: you break into and steal from your own house, just to see if you can.

Lady_Gilthoniel on 20/12/2003 at 17:24

2546:The fact I sat here and read 29 pages of this.

TheivingME on 22/12/2003 at 22:19

2547:You have just had a massive collage party and the mess is massive. Your parents are home in one hour and there is not time to clean up so you:

booby trap the front door with baking soda mines

put a pressure pad outside your back door, which causes broadheads to fire (tacs on the end of a lolly stick)

Set yourself up in your bedroom window with some gas arrows (fart in a jar on the end of a lolly stick)

And knockout anyone who comes down the road

2548: you have invented an entire thief arsenal.

1:sword= toy lightsaber
2: blackjack= sock filled with beads
3: broadhead= tac on the end of a lolly stick
4: water arrow= water baloon on the end of a lolly stick
5: Fire arrow= match on the end of a lolly stick
6: moss arrow= water baloon filled with grass and miracle grow on the end of a lolly stick
7:gas arrow= fart in a jar on the end of a lolly stick
8: rope arrow= tac on the end of a lolly stick with some rope.
9: noise maker= baby brother/sisters rattle attatched to a lolly stick
10: speed potion= LSD- makes you think your moving fast
11: Invisibility potion= weed- makes you think your invisible
12: slow fall potion= ecstasy- make you think you are falling slowly-use of this drug as a slow fall potion as resulted in me with two broken legs- much to my surprise, i am
sure the potion was working.
13: mines= tin cans filled with baking soda.
14: scouting orb, (unfortuantly only has a range of about 5 cm) = your plucked out eye, without pulling it away from all its connecting nerves and veins and shoved inside a metal case:eww:
15: suburst device=metal case, that you have farted inside for the past 10 years and kept resealing.

garretthethief23 on 29/12/2003 at 03:09

2549) You can't wait for the day when the page posting numbers at the top and bottom of the page gets too long to see on one line.

TheivingME on 29/12/2003 at 21:48

2550: 70% of women prefer shopping to sex.

You prefer thief too sex.

2551: you spend decades of your life researching quantum physics, wormholes etc, so you can reach the thief universe, after failing you have a breakdown becasue you have wasted your entire life on a pointless research.. then you die of horror because you realise you have wasted decades of your life not playing thief.

2552: After you die someone picks up your research where you left off and succeeds building a portal to the thief universe, you then raise from the dead (in the form of a zombie) because you are that desperate to meet garrett. When you run moaning with a foul smelling rotting joy at him he blasts you with a holy water arrow.

TF on 29/12/2003 at 22:20

2553) The occassion to steal the 3000th post creeps closer...yeeeeeessss....urp.

Minion21g on 29/12/2003 at 23:25

...

12: Haha, let's mess up the counting. Thief is fun!