1.000 ways to see that you've been playing Deus Ex too much. - by Keeper Hellzon
e5c4p3_artist on 18/2/2001 at 21:44
97) You look down and wonder where your legs went
98) You walk into bathrooms designated for the opposite sex because the consequences aren't all that bad
99) You think "breaking the LAW" is when your Light Anti-Tank Weapon misfires
100) You keep smashing windows with crowbars trying to find the unbreakable ones
101) You try to pick up your brother's unconscious body, but can't because you don't have enough room in your inventory to pick up his cigarettes first
muuurgh on 19/2/2001 at 00:36
102. You play Thief again and really wish you had a cloak aug.
103. You try to "open" every mirror you find in hopes of running into a frozen NPC who doesn't really affect the plot all that much.
104. You find yourself wondering who would win if Helios and SHODAN got in a fight.
PsiBGrat on 19/2/2001 at 03:55
Quote:
Originally posted by muuurgh:
103. You try to "open" every mirror you find in hopes of running into a frozen NPC who doesn't really affect the plot all that much.Sorry to break the rhythym...
Anyone else remember that scene from The Fifth Element? (You're a winner!) What a coincidence...
(BTW, if it's in space, then Shodan wins. If it's on earth, then Helios wins. One mans opinon...)
Anyway...
105. You tell your parents "I'll just have credits this christmas..." and they understand you.
106. You injure yourself at school/work and you try to find a medkit in the medical room.
107. You are disappointed when "the medkit" is just a small green bag with band-aids and Antiseptic, instead of the consumable, TV-Dinner-Like-Object that you know it is...
108. You can't get off the top of a ladder unless you look right up at the sky. And even then you need some scenery (i.e. tall buildings) as a point of reference.
109. You mercilessly hunt every pigeon you see.
110. You have no moral dillemma about snatching food and drink from under the nose of homeless people.
110b. You snatch aforesaid refreshments from in front of someone, and they let you.
111. You walk up to subway phone booths, press **** (mole people:no spoilers here) and are disappointed when you aren't taken to an underground hide out.
112. You take dress tips from "The Matrix."
113. You look in a mirror holding something in front of you, and your reflection holds aforesaid item elsewhere.
114. You meet a guy who smuggles heavy oordnance.
114b. He looks (kinda) like an old Morgan Freeman, and sounds (kinda) like Denzel Washington.
114c. He doesn't care when you raid his hideout.
114d. You don't care when his hideout gets raided.
115. You have no love interest.
115b. Even though you are associated with something that most Australians pronounce as "Day O' Sex".
(WHEW! Do I win $5?)
[This message has been edited by PsiBGrat (edited February 28, 2001).]
0Trapper0 on 22/2/2001 at 00:48
116. You have long coversations with homeless people in the hopes of finding out something useful.
117. Despite wearing a metal buckled vest, a flappy trenchcoat, baggy pants, and army boots, simply stooping down while moving completely eliminates any noise you make.
118. You have no qualms with stealing and trading hard drugs for cash because, after all, you're saving the world.
119. You lug around bullet-proof vests, snorkels, and camoflague suits "just incase".
120. Despite taking out big-hitters in local gangs, no-one ever sends the boys round.
121. You are surprised to learn that blocks in New York City are connected by actual ROADS rather than just SUBWAYS.
122. You can dive off buildings, get shot, stabbed, cut, lose the use of your limbs, come within an inch of death, and yet, despite not having ear-hooks, your sunglasses don't move even slightly out of place.
123. Brief exposure to radiation that can kill you with 2 minutes of constant exposure leaves no welts, burns, or other ill-effects, aside from strobing flashes of green.
------------------
-- This Message Straight From The Desk Of Your Neighborhood Apatheticist, Tristan "Trapper" Metcalfe.
PsiBGrat on 1/3/2001 at 04:27
124. You don't perve on secretaries anymore, in fact you think they may be packing heat...
125. You look at a security guard and think "Yeah, I could take him. With a baton."
126. You start looking for security cameras in your local bank/supermarket/whatever, "just so i know".
127. You wonder where the security panel is.
128. You respond to a week old thread because you want to find 1,000 ways to prove you've played it too much, when you already know that it will take at lest 50 years to rid your subconscious of all DX references. (i.e. If I ever, ever, ever, in so-called real life hear a chick say: "Thanks fer getting me in"... I'm an Aussie, BTW
Inline Image:
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif )
129. You think your brother's lost it, but he just has more info than you.
130. You try to kill your brother, only to found out he's invincible.
*Maverick* on 3/3/2001 at 08:05
131) You talk to a friend on the phone and wonder why he doesn't apear in a box in the centre of your vision.
132) You find yourself constantly seeking out sniper spots wherever you go.
133) You try to sneak past past someone wearing a black cloak and wonder why they can see you.
134) Rather than climbing or jumping up a 3 foot ledge, you walk all the way around the building to find a box to stand on.
135) For some reason every ATM you try to get money out of goes out of order immediatly after.
136) You find yourself walking with a jerking motion and frequently have to walk the same thing several times to make it.
(MP game on a slow connection)
137)a. Always wear shades (actually do this sometimes)
b. When asked why you are wearing shades in the dark reply "My vision is augmented"
138) You login to your computer as jcd- password, bionicman
139) You find yourself at a party with a girl saying "thanks for getting me in" repeatedly
140) You swim for longer than most dolphins underwater, yet emerger completely dry.
(the quality seems to be deteriorating so i'll stop now
Inline Image:
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif)
kryss on 3/3/2001 at 08:22
141. You're discussing 80's music with friends and at the words "Oingo Boingo", you all mysteriously fall dead.
...well, of laughter, anyway.
Abyss on 3/3/2001 at 20:55
142. You realise you have to sleep occasionally.
143. You realise you may not be able to alter how the rest of the world will live in the future.
144. You have to pay to travel to nice countries.
Fire_Arrow on 5/3/2001 at 20:23
145. When you wake up in the morning you wonder why you're not on the docks of Libery Island.
146. You never turn your head, always the full body.
147.When you go to a hotel you wonder why you can't find a single door with metal bars in front of it.
davpod on 5/3/2001 at 21:08
148. You always open any parcels you receive in the mail by hacking at them repeatedly with a knife or a crowbar. You are surprised to find the contents either destroyed or severely damaged.
149. Whenever you get a cough or a cold you are convinced you have the Grey Death. Conversations with your doctor are generally along the following lines: "No, you don't understand, the only cure is Ambrosia - it's kind of green and sparkly. It comes in these huge canisters.. The government synthesizes it.. In fact, the government is controlled by a secret organization known as - hey, what's that? Is that a straitjacket?..."
