Aliens: Colonial Marines is apparently heinous

Vivian on 12/2/2013 at 09:58

So... I guess we all knew this anyway, it's been a pretty steady downward trajectory from a kind of squad-based tense-em-up to the pre-release trailers just basically showing Randy Pitchfork masturbating onto a model powerloader while grunting spare dialogue from Duke Nukem in a quote-unquote 'tough' voice, but yeah. A:CM is apparently dogshit. Not unexpected, but still disappointing. It really shouldn't be hard to make a decent game out of Aliens, should it? But apparently it is. That or Gearbox are a company of aimless, talentless fucks run by an anthropomorphic testicle.

(http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-02-12-aliens-colonial-marines-review) Eurogamer - 3/10

(http://uk.pc.gamespy.com/pc/sega-alien-shooter/1227396p1.html) GameSpy - 2/5

(http://uk.ign.com/articles/2013/02/12/aliens-colonial-marines-pc-review) IGN - bad

(http://www.pcgamer.com/review/aliens-colonial-marines-review/2/) PC Gamer - 48%

etc etc

Poetic thief on 12/2/2013 at 10:29

For the first time, the professional sites are actually giving honest reviews.

For the love of all that is good and true in the world, DO NOT under any circumstances buy this game and support the downfall of western civilization.

I was a sucker for preordering this thing because I still had a bit of faith left in the pc game industry. Well, SEGA took that remaining bit of faith, and raped it , then left it lying in a pool of blood. I feel so dirty and and violated.

june gloom on 12/2/2013 at 10:47

Guess I'll go back to Alien Trilogy for the PSX then.

SubJeff on 12/2/2013 at 11:38

Oh well, I was bored of this setting anyway.

icemann on 12/2/2013 at 12:18

I ignored bad reviews + forum comments and bought C&C 4, a mistake I have learned from quite strongly. Was going to get this game but no longer. Sounded so promising too. Grr.

Vivian on 12/2/2013 at 15:29

This penny arcade review (which is actually funny. Who knew PA could be funny? I thought it was just about making shitty references with a shitty comic featuring handsomer, more be-haired, thinner versions of those two ugly fat bald dudes) might be the most enjoyment you get from the game:

(http://penny-arcade.com/report/editorial-article/aliens-colonial-marines-is-an-unfinished-ugly-mess)

Also, behold the terror: (http://i.minus.com/i212wUcwcU0eE.gif)

VanBurenPhilips on 12/2/2013 at 15:32

Quote Posted by Vivian

It really shouldn't be hard to make a decent game out of Aliens, should it? But apparently it is. That or Gearbox are a company of aimless, talentless fucks run by an anthropomorphic testicle.

:( Sad about this. Really loved the first two Brothers In Arms games, and Pitchford (in vids with the marine dude they had on board) did not seem like such a dick, but he has prompted many a sadface since then. I'm missing a big part of the Gearbox picture because I haven't played either Borderlands yet (I hear both are excellent) but they sure are making a worrying amount of blunders.

Muzman on 12/2/2013 at 16:01

The scuttlebut now is that Gearbox didn't actually make it (although would have to take some blame for it being taken off them in the first place, presumably)
I don't know why they wouldn't 'Alan Smithee' it in the credits when something like that happens. Game developers still precious about keeping their resumes detailed I suppose.

oh and this bit of genius

Inline Image:

http://www.chud.com/community/content/type/61/id/150802/

catbarf on 12/2/2013 at 16:15

I regret pre-ordering this shitpile with every fiber of my being.

After playing this game for half an hour, I'm looking back fondly on the 2010 AvP :erg:

VanBurenPhilips on 12/2/2013 at 16:25

I haven't read up on it yet but a mate just told me they outsourced it to TimeGate studios. If that's the case, it may not reflect badly on many individuals at Gearbox, but Pitchford & whoever else was supposed to be managing the project are ultimately responsible.

Quote Posted by catbarf

I'm looking back fondly on the 2010 AvP

I loved the first Rebellion one, but I think that was much earlier. Who did the 2010, was it Obsidian?