lost_soul on 19/12/2010 at 21:59
I thought this would be a fun topic, so add all of the criteria you think someone must master to be a guard in the Thief universe here.
1. If there's a door opening and closing right next to you, even though it seems there's no one around, you are to remain un-alert and just keep whistling.
2. If a torch or candle goes out right in front of you (even if you see it get showered with water!) you are to remain calm and keep muttering about last night's dinner.
3. Any time you hear an inexplicable sound, you must always blame it on the rats.
4. While on patrol through a manor, if you come back to find a room strewn with plates, dishes, and silverware, that is no cause for alarm... even if the room was in perfect order last time you passed through.
5. If you're about to go through a door and it inexplicably opens for you, that is no cause for alarm.
6. Even if you chase the thief into a room that is a dead end, you must give up and say something like "He's miles away by now" if the thief manages to stay hidden in shadows for a couple of minutes.
7. If the thief wounds you and causes you to flee, you must run to a given point and then just stand there.
8. While on patrol again, if you come to a familiar location and find a mysterious rope hanging down, that is no cause for alarm. It is perfectly normal.
9. Guards aren't allowed to swim. If you're put into a situation where you have to chase the thief into a body of water, you must simply run toward him while he floats above, far out of your reach.
10. No matter what happens, you must never let go of your weapon. That means keeping a tight hold of your sword, even if the thief knocks you out. (does not apply if you're a guard in TDS)
Did I miss any good ones?
Platinumoxicity on 19/12/2010 at 22:47
11. If you have a sword sheathed, make sure to unsheath it on the second you're knocked unconscious or killed. This way the sword will remain lying on the ground for others to find and arouse suspicion.
12. If you see a sword lying on the ground, ignore it and never mind the fact that your friend is missing from his guard post.
13. You can't climb ladders in any circumstances.
14. A rope hanging from the ceiling doesn't mean a thief is around, but very specific footsteps do.
15. If someone is gently nudging you to some direction, don't be alarmed but let it happen.
Bakerman on 20/12/2010 at 01:17
16. There is to be absolutely no silence whatsoever while on duty. You must, at least once a minute, whistle jauntily or mutter bitterly, depending on your mood.
17. It's always the rats. Always. You'll get used to it.
18. Guard the outside, not the inside.
19. Sometimes the banners cut themselves. Pay them no heed; you'll just encourage them.
20. You are never, ever, to look at the key on your belt. It's still there, don't worry.
I think it'd be fairly easy to implement realistically difficult AI - but that would make the game no fun at all :P.
Haplo on 20/12/2010 at 01:23
21. Make sure you drown in half a meter of water.
Albert on 20/12/2010 at 01:28
22. If a thief happens to be out of your reach, simply make a petty threat and wave your fists in his general vicinity. Hopefully this will teach him a lesson.
lost_soul on 20/12/2010 at 01:56
23: In the event of a Zombie (or Haunt apocalypse, that pesky Garrett is still your number one enemy.
24: If you find a fellow guard unconscious while on patrol, simply search the immediate vicinity for a moment and then give up. Don't do what any natural human being would do and start alerting every single guard and servant on the premises.
25. Pay no attention to round or diamond shaped mechanical thingies sitting on the ground. They're just a decoration.
26. If you see a fire arrow heading your way, don't bother strafing out of the way to safety.
27: Barrels have been known to slide across the room on their own whilst remaining upright. Sights like these are no cause for alarm, unless you actually see the thief.
ganac on 20/12/2010 at 03:42
28: When searching for an intruder, go ahead and search the flat wall that is next to you.
28a: Go ahead and stick your face into it, hard enough to slide your feet back.
29: Moss often grows spontaneously indoors.
30: Don't eat or relieve yourself. Don't even change your route; if anybody's watching you, they will forget.
30a: However, still complain about dinner, regardless of time.
31: Boxes can float, don't worry about it
32: Wooden barrels are actually imaginary.
33: When fighing small yellow spiders, fight as if it is the size of a man.
Malleus on 20/12/2010 at 12:40
Quote:
20. You are never, ever, to look at the key on your belt. It's still there, don't worry.
20a: You don't need it anyway - doors will unlock themselves for you if you've been issued with a key for them at the beginning of the shift.
34: Learn to tell the difference between friendly and hostile footsteps - it might save your life.
35: Locks will often try to unlock themselves making clicking noises - this is perfectly natural and does not indicate a Thief nearby.
36: Extreme physical abilities required - you have to be able jump to your feet and instantly be ready for combat the moment you wake up from sleeping.
37: Memorize your patrol route well, so you can keep patrolling even if all the lights are off.
37a: Don't be afraid to patrol in pitch black darkness.
cast on 20/12/2010 at 13:20
38. If you realise there's suddenly an arrow sticking out of your hand and aching like fck, don't worry. It must be one of those nights.
39. Whenever you spot a strange man a few metres above you hanging on what seems to be a levitating apple, throwing threats is the right thing to do.
40. Being right-handed is obligatory.
Ryan Smith on 20/12/2010 at 14:36
41: If you get stuck to a wall for some reason and can't move, just carry on with your patrol. It's not like your patrol route took you to many places to begin with.
42: If you're an archer and you get hit, make sure you pause for a second, then rush a meter or two forward.
43: If you're a servant who's gifted with the ability to fight, treat your bare hands like swords. They're sharp enough to cut through armor.
44: When you've just given up on looking for the thief, every once in a while turn around suddenly and attack whatever's behind you. You must act as if you've never seen any suspicious activity.
45: Sometimes when you take a lot of damage, you must treat it as if it didn't hurt at all.
