Yakoob on 23/6/2012 at 21:18

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My roommate has a coffee maker. An old, dirty, rusty and scary coffee maker I refuse to use. That thing is ancient. But I have a degree. Nay, even two; so I put my creative mind to work.

After many trial and errors, I have almost perfected my little ghetto way of brewing coffee. I put 3-4 teaspoons of ground coffee in a measuring cup, while boiling water in the microwave for 3 minutes and 10 seconds. When it bubbles I take it out and let it rest for a few seconds; don't want to be scolding our precious beans. I pour it in, stir once, and cover with one of the saucepan lids. I set my timer for 6 minutes and walk away.

Now, filtering, the heart of my device. I get one of those small in diameter but deep sifters and put a paper filter inside it; it fits perfectly. I put it on my mug, propping the handle on the big Morton's Salt box, and place a thermos on the opposite side. The thermos will not be used to contain any liquid.

Next, I open my left hand slightly and put it inside the sifter so that my finger tops press the paper filter against the rims. This is essential; if not done, there is a 66.7% chance that, while pouring the coffee, the paper filter will fold upon itself and spill everywhere.

With my right hand I take off the lid, give it a stir, and pour the liquid in the opening between my thumb and index finger. Once halfway-filled and heavy/wet enough to be stable, I remove my left hand, and quickly dump the rest of the coffee, scraping remaining grounds with a spoon.

Speed is key here. I lift the non-handle end of the sifter and prop it on the thermos, so that the whole sifter is suspended slightly above the mug. If not done, the filtered coffee inside the mug will rise to "meet" the bottom of the sifter, thus not filtering all the way through. And yes, I did experiment with different "propping devices" to get the height and stability just right.

As the liquid filters through, I wash and rinse the measuring cup; we don't want any nasty coffee stains like on our teeth, now, do we? Once filtering is done, I wrap and twist the paper, giving it a hearty squeeze to get the last few drops out, and toss it to the bin. I rinse the sifter and set aside to dry.

The coffee is ready.

TL;DR: Yakoob uses conventional kitchen tools to make an unconventional coffee brewer in the most convoluted way possible because OH CHRIST JUST BUY A GODDAMN 10 DOLLAR COFFEE PRESS / MAKO POT ALREADY.

SubJeff on 24/6/2012 at 15:32

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This is the guy you want on your side after the Apocalypse. Good skills :thumb:

Tocky on 25/6/2012 at 04:33

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Pretty much like making tea then. And sorry folks, it's not Earl Gray, just plain old Lipton. But after the water boils on the stove in a quart or more pan rather than a microwave and I've pulled it onto a cold eye I drop in a two pack of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime which is a mint and camomile blend. I let that steep alone for about three minutes then dunk two bags of Lipton with it, and not that weakass green shit. I swirl it a couple holding the strings then let it simmer eight minutes. NO MORE THAN.

I toss the bags and pour it into a gallon pitcher. NEVER EVER squeeze a tea bag as it releases the bruised and bitter. Let them drip enough not to leave a trail to garbage and toss. I've heard some of you say you squeeze the bag and I never want to have tea with you. That is awful. I know you drink it hot and without sugar and that's fine, I have other tea but this is like vengence is best served. Mind you have to add sugar and water correctly.

First the sugar. Somewhere between one and a quarter and one and a half cups to the steaming tea in the pitcher bottom. No more than. It's a delicate balance and you may choose less but more is cloying syrup. Let it sit a couple before stirring to soften the grainules then stir till it is completely dissolved. Next turn on the tap and stir in the cold water as it pours out to lock in the flavor. Over ice in a heavy tumbler and I'm set. I've done it as I've typed this out. My tastes run from pedestrian to WTF so your reactions may vary. It's tatalarping titty to me.

Aja on 25/6/2012 at 20:21

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Tea that comes in tea-bags (ie Lipton's) is generally the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fannings) low-grade dust that is a byproduct of the production of higher quality teas. Loose leaf is the way to go, and if you accidentally oversteep it (and get that nasty bitter taste) you can always just dilute it with hot water :)

I've been drinking oolongs lately; you put about a teaspoon of loose leaves into one of (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaiwan) these, let it steep for a minute or two and then strain it into your cup. Not complicated at all, and it's delicious.

Yakoob on 25/6/2012 at 20:57

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It's not about being a hipster, it's about refining one's own taste. It applies to ANYTHING you do in life, food, alcohol, games, art, music etc. The more you consciously you do something, the more details you notice.

Months back I didnt care about coffee/tea either, just drop the bag, poured hot water, done. Over time, though, the more I got used to the taste, the more I started to notice the small little accents here and there, and now can actually tell the difference when I steep a minute longer.

But that is only because I enjoy drinking coffee/tea and pay attention to flavor. I still buy the fat-free yogurt instead of some %, for instance, because i frankly can't taste the difference, even though you'd find lots of food afficienados telling you how horrid the fat-frees are :p




True, but somehow it's just perfect for the lemon tea or a sweek milky cuppa in the morning :)