june gloom on 15/2/2012 at 22:53
Nobody really deserves public humiliation. Especially not whiny teenage girls who haven't had a chance to fucking grow up yet.
This dad is just a bullying jerk; if she's a whiny entitlement whore, how much of that is due to this guy's lack of parenting skills?
Rug Burn Junky on 16/2/2012 at 00:34
Quote Posted by dethtoll
This dad is just a bullying jerk; if she's a whiny entitlement whore, how much of that is due to this guy's lack of parenting skills?
[INDENT][INDENT]
Quote Posted by whiny entitled teenager
It's not my responsibility to clean up your (expletive). We have a cleaning lady for a reason
[/INDENT][/INDENT]At the end of the day, it's the cleaning lady I feel the most sorry for.
Fafhrd on 16/2/2012 at 01:45
Quote Posted by catbarf
You're right that a kid's entitled to privately blow off steam, but I don't think Facebook qualifies as 'privately'. If I posted on Facebook or a bunch of forums that I hate my job and hate my boss and hate the management, I wouldn't be surprised if it was noticed and I got fired as a result. That stuff's out there, accessible by more than just a couple of friends, and stays there long after you're done being angry.
We need to seriously adjust our notions of what constitutes 'private' in this connected era. For most people, and especially teenagers, their Facebook pages constitute part of
their space, just as much as their bedrooms. It doesn't matter if they have 450 friends, if something is posted to friends only (which this was, the dad decided he was justified in circumventing any privacy settings his daughter uses, which raises a whole host of other questions about his parenting methods), it is Private.
BrokenArts on 16/2/2012 at 04:19
Its the today version of having a diary. Cept everyone can read it. I've read most of what has gone on in this thread. I'm really tired tonight, so forgive my braindeadness. Working 6 days a week is not fun right now. Anyway, do any of you have a teenager in your household? I do, I've got a 17 year old daughter, most of you know I have a daughter. All I'm saying is that, situations happen, you do the best you can with what you've got, and with what you know. Be honest, and give it to them straight. When the stuff happens, either grounding, privileges taken away, etc. You can talk the talk, until you have one of your own. No one really knows until they are faced with it, and decisions will be made.
They do deserve some privacy, privacy will be blown when things become more suspect. So many parents do not have a clue what goes on. What sites the kids visit. Who their friends are. Anyway, what the dad did was wrong, he's a dickhead for doing it. Communication, and more of it, should happen between them. Getting a teenager to talk is hard enough, I've had to learn how to talk to her, and not get yes and no answers from them all the time.
I peaked and I've pried, my daughter knows it. She's also gotten busted too. I'll do it again when she starts doing stupid shit, and won't fly right. Coming down on her like I have, prying, if I wouldn't of, god knows what she'd be doing right now. We've had to start all over again, building up trust, and realizing in the end, I'm going to be the one in her corner, and her grades were suffering, she needed to wake up. Life right now, is a bit of a joke, you're in high school, yet the flip side is, what you do now will set the presidence for the rest of your life. Some of this is typical teenage stuff, its a fine line to dance and watch. Knowing when to step in and intervene isn't the easiest thing to do.
You want to know why I did pry, she comes home one night, I pick her up from a so called friends house, she's acting all weird, goes in her room and immediately crashes on the bed. I try to talk to her, and get little response, mumble mumble. Hhhhmmmm. The mom in me grabbed her phone, she didn't put up a fuss when I grabbed it, there was a text she left up, that I could read. She was bragging about doing *kush* at the friends house, with the mom in the other room. I was livid....she was grounded, I'll pry again, when I see stupid shit like this.......you bet your ass I will look. Counseling, and she is now working, and thinking of the future is more of a priority for her. Working has been a big key is giving her confidence, and made her realize some things about herself and life.
In the end, do what is best for your own family, this definitely got people talking. I wonder what will happen with family in the video. They need counseling.
Tocky on 16/2/2012 at 04:25
He shouldn't have taught a disrespect for guns by using one for that purpose. He shouldn't have taught that airing greivences on facebook was a bad thing by doing the same thing because it's like showing it's bad to bite by biting. But the end of civilization? Please. I think it's more emblematic of civilizations decline that those who disagreed sounded like gangsta tweeters incapable of stringing a coherent thought together.
Quote Posted by Nicker
Either those in favour of the 45 solution can't separate the issue of a being a frustrated parent from the fact that he used a gun to make his point OR they fully approve of violently destroying things as a method of instilling adult sensibilities in teenagers. (This kind of behaviour is a symptom of an abusive relationship - how to hurt without leaving bruises.)
I don't think those in favor are giving it much thought beyond his frustration that she was wilfully disobedient and spoiled to a point of being ill prepared for life on her own. They likely figure she will discover how little was asked of her then and regret she was so naive about the actual work life demands. What bothers me more is that quantum leap to abuse and pedophile castigation thrown out with no regard for the little facts in evidence by some of the comments. I heard nothing abusive in his words. They were the hard words a parent uses when they expect more from their kids and are disappointed but if those words leave bruises then life is going to utterly decapitate them. Still, they should have been private words and he shouldn't have taught her not to publicly spout off by publicly spouting off. That is wrong but not abuse.
Quote Posted by Nicker
How can we survive as a species when people with the emotional maturity of toddlers are raising teenagers? And how can the vast majority of people celebrate this sickness?
Lord Almighty. THIS makes you question whether we can survive? Seriously? He took a machine that he had bought and ended it's use with the use of another machine that he owned. The right to use either machine was his because he bought them. That was one of his lessons. True, it was also an overreaction and it is easy to see where she gets her drama from now but then calling it sickness and the end of civilization is emo as hell and beyond reason as well. Are todays youth really such delicate butterflies? Maybe they are, the ones who don't know how tough things can really get. It bothers me that THEY may not make it in civilization. If he was abusive then life is going to assrape them from dusk to dawn in their eyes. When I tell them I do want ketchup with that they will go get dads gun and because of his teaching irresponsible gun behavior kill all of us abusive people who have the nerve to expect them to do their job.
Mr.Duck on 16/2/2012 at 08:39
I agree with BA, and I ain't no parent, but all of my brothers and sisters are, and each one has their style with their rights and wrongs, on both sides (parents and their children). Talking the talk is easy, until it becomes the walk.
The guy on the video used a -gun- to make a point about her daughter's behavior. A gun. If that hasn't properly sunk yet to some people in this thread on how utterly wrong it is on so many levels, with little to no redeeming value of his actions no matter how you fucking slice it, then, shit, carry on arguing. But, yeah, that family needs some serious counseling.
Nothing more to say, so I am off.
Kolya on 16/2/2012 at 09:45
*kush* is marihuana? Did you do the eyes check? :D
God, I remember being so afraid of my mum seeing my tiny bloodshot eyes.
Anyway, it can screw people up to the point where they get nothing done but smoking, so you have my sympathies. But so has your daughter.
I whole heartedly agree with what Fafhrd said about changing our notions of privacy. In fact I've made the point here about a year ago that privacy isn't what you cannot see, but that which you obviously weren't meant to see. People used to know that. A couple who's kissing on a park bench doesn't do it so every promenader will stop and watch. If they did you'd rightfully ask them what the hell is wrong with them and their manners. Yet on the internet this is turned around and it's made the fault of person who didn't hide and secure their privacy enough, instead of the stalking party.
For a while I thought this is just part of the general public adapting to this new internet stuff, but the status quo doesn't seem to change. Instead the responsibility to do increasingly intricate personality management is handed to the individual - that is to put up a digital façade for outsiders and do your private stuff pseudonymously or otherwise hidden.
I guess most people cannot even see what's wrong with that. But enforced personality management (and with such dire consequences on the net) is a psychological stress factor and limits our freedom of expression severely. A freedom that we could give each other.
Vasquez on 16/2/2012 at 10:07
Quote Posted by Sulphur
his daughter is a teenager, and teens are likely to do this sort of shit -- you deal with it as a mature adult in a mature fashion, not in a tit-for-tat game of escalating aggression.
Yes.
Chimpy Chompy on 16/2/2012 at 11:33
I have no kids so I guess I should chime in here with a confident statement about how a father should deal with a stroppy teenager.
erm... well destroying her laptop was a bit much.
PigLick on 16/2/2012 at 13:37
Quote Posted by MrDuck
Talking the talk is easy, until it becomes the walk.
never fucking change ducky, you are a legend
