Exposing Sexual Harassment... - by Goldmoon Dawn
Al_B on 17/11/2017 at 18:05
Quote Posted by Dia
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
That's perfectly understandable - it was hard to read and I'm sure
much harder to for you to write. It really demonstrates how much of a barrier there is to follow through after that type of crime for the person who has been attacked and thanks for sharing.
Goldmoon Dawn on 17/11/2017 at 18:53
Yes, thank you so much Dia. My aunt went through a similar situation, just terrible. Thanks for being the strong person that you are.
scumble on 17/11/2017 at 19:15
Dia, you're clearly a very resilient person. I echo what Al just said.
I picked up a book by Rebecca Solnit because I was looking up the term "mansplaining" - her essay called The Longest War is the first thing I've read that expresses the level of violence against women everywhere. The statistics about domestic violence are particularly upsetting. In the US there is a rape reported effectively every 6 minutes. I found another UK statistic pointing out that 6% of rape trials result in conviction. There's no way that equates to some sort of justice.
No idea what's to be done, but I've not really comprehended the magnitude of the problem before. Makes me wonder how many women I pass on the street have been assaulted.
Tony_Tarantula on 17/11/2017 at 22:43
Quote Posted by Harvester
Louis C.K. has already (
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/10/arts/television/louis-ck-statement.html) come out and said that the allegations are true. He said he never should've done it in a lengthy statement, strangely without actually apologizing to the women involved. So the allegations are not bullshit. And they're not just part of his personal life, but his professional life as well. Women who wanted to work with him had him coming up to them, stripping naked and masturbating in front of them. This deserves to become public, because otherwise this behavior would've continued and Louis would've made more women feel severely uncomfortable and maybe even traumatized.
Inline Image:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c4/b8/83/c4b8834dc60dd504f287b7a1232bc34e.jpgDamn this thread is a dumpster fire.
Life tip: sometime's the best answer is "I don't know enough to have come to a conclusion I can feel confident in, so I'll get back to you when I do"
And Dia, condolences. I find a consistent trend of myself feeling violently angry almost any time I read about people's interaction with the justice system, and this is no exception. We're far too harsh on non-violent crime and far too lenient on violent crime. I still find it hard to believe that the husband's reaction would be to cave on the threats. A similar thing happened to a girl I dated briefly in college and well.....let's just say that they were an Appalachian family who also decided that the dysfunction of the court system wasn't worth it.
There isn't any excuse for that failure. To put things in perspective, US federal courts have a higher conviction rate than Nazi Germany did (yes, you read that right) but they can't seem to handle this kind of a crime reliably? The system is broken when we're running the system in such a way that it results in prosecutors preferring to go after things like weed possession than violent crimes like murder or rape.
Dia on 17/11/2017 at 23:27
I am not brave or courageous. Only when I'm playing my games on my PC and then yeah, I'm a badass. I am just a regular person who had something very bad happen to her and who wanted to lash out, strike back, and get revenge. My God, if I could have jumped on that piece of shit in the courtroom and ripped his throat out with my bare teeth and gotten away with it I would have. That's how consumed I was by anger and hatred. That's the disturbingly low level to which that monster brought me. It took me awhile to understand that fulfillment of any of those desires would not have made my life return to the way it was, the way I was before the assault, it wouldn't have changed anything. My mom would have said it was sheer stubbornness that kept me pushing forward and she would have been partially correct; mostly what drove me was my hatred and anger. It doesn't take strength, braveness, or courage to feel those things. Understand; hatred is a very ugly thing and it turned me into a very ugly person for awhile. Prolonged, over-the-top anger is very destructive and a detriment to logic and clear thinking. That is what happens to people who've been violated, especially people who never get even a modicum of justice by seeing their assailant suffer the justice that he (or she) deserves.
It's difficult for some people to understand how the feeling of being rendered totally helpless, totally at the mercy of someone else can affect you and I guess that's part of the message I'm trying to send here. You want to help victims of assault and/or harassment? Believe them. It's better to be proven wrong (believe me, the accused will be exonerated in that case and his/her vindication will be on public record, plus false rape accusations only make up a single-digit percentage of all rape claims) than to disbelieve someone and find out down the road that person was telling the truth and now their life has been totally ruined and they will live in fear and even terror for the rest of their life. You want to help? Then teach your kids, your nephews and nieces, your grandkids, that violence against others is not acceptable, nor should it be tolerated. Once you believe that sexual harassment and assault are not a joke and not only wrong but epidemic in our world, then you have taken the first step forward in helping people who have been preyed upon. No, we can't cure the whole world's ills, especially overnight, but we can take our compassion, our understanding, and our kindness and pay it forward.
I love you guys and your kind and encouraging words are wonderful and heart warming. But I am not brave, I am not courageous. Only in my video games. What I am is stubborn as hell and working towards the knowledge, the satisfaction that monsters like the one who assaulted me have no more power over me. I want to help other victims become survivors and raise awareness that harassment and assault are at an all-time high. I never could have posted any of this even five years ago, so I guess we really are making progress. One step at a time ....
Ok, I'm starting to sound preachy so it's time for me to really stop talking about this.
Goldmoon Dawn on 18/11/2017 at 00:08
Quote Posted by Dia
It's difficult for some people to understand how the feeling of being rendered totally helpless, totally at the mercy of someone else can affect you
Especially as a child... :(
You are very intelligent to have worked through this so well, and I appreciate that last post.
Harvester on 18/11/2017 at 00:23
Take care, Dia!
Dia on 18/11/2017 at 03:11
@GMD: Especially the kids! The first time I dealt with a child who'd been sexually assaulted I had to keep it together in the presence of that child, but afterwards on my way home I pulled my car over to the side of the road, opened the door, vomited violently, and then cried for an interminable length of time. It not only tears your heart out, but throws you into a murderous rage, then plummets you down into the depths of despair with the realization that there are monsters out there who not only do that to a child, but think there's nothing wrong with their actions. The first time most people deal with children who are sexual assault victims is often the first time they realize that yes, they could commit cold-blooded murder if they found themselves in the same room with the monster who assaulted that child. For real.
Tocky on 18/11/2017 at 05:34
That was nail on the head, Dia.
Thor on 18/11/2017 at 07:07
Quote Posted by Slasher
That's a pretty specious argument. Better luck next time.
Not like it was the most serious argument, but it still beats no argument, which you thrive on. I know, some people can get through life that way, by just bullying and being dumb jocks, but in the long term bullies die out anyway. No need to tell me about your private life.