SD on 30/10/2006 at 17:53
Yeah. I generally hate the idea of fan-fiction, but there's some good ideas in there.
Esme on 30/10/2006 at 18:04
I'm not too keen on it myself, but I can't seem to get my head round dromed otherwise I'd try making a mission based on this
still, positive input from a fanfic hater, I'm not going to complain about that ;)
Elentari on 31/10/2006 at 09:41
Quote:
"well it’s more friendly than a bear trap I suppose"
LOL I don't know why, I like this line. It makes me laugh. Although, what a city boy would know about bear traps is beyond me. :) Burrick traps might be more his style.
Anyway, while I'm not a huge fan of 'fanfiction' exactly, I do like reading good stories and this one definitely has some potential. I like the ideas put forth so far and Garrett's character is not done too badly. A hard feat since we all have somewhat different ideas of him, and a story tends to need to delve a bit deeper into his character.
The one thing I would suggest that is the *biggest* detraction from this is the typos and the lack of proper punctuation. Not to offend, but its missing a LOT of commas, which does tend to affect the 'tone' you are trying to set in many areas. I mean, its a slight pause, a shift in the sentance and without it, sometimes its hard to get the meaning without reading it over two or three times. While I'm not hugely keen on reading over my stuff either, it is a necessary task if you're going to write. And if you use Word or something, definitely use the spell-check as it will sometimes catch those typos for you.
Over all, though, I would like to see more of this. Its an interesting read, and I like the ideas introduced here. I also agree - it would be a bear to turn into an actual mission. Although, depending on what the actual job itself is, it could be possible. By someone who actually knows dromed, that is. . .
