jtr7 on 28/5/2006 at 22:11
Take as long as you need.:cool:
Digital Nightfall on 29/5/2006 at 18:03
But has anyone actually read the COT bit I posted?
snowcap21 on 28/6/2006 at 19:15
Hmm, sorry I know it's awfully late to comment on this one, but I've read the fic and really liked to give you some feedback.
I liked the rewrite a lot and think it's definitly worth the effort! I think both versions have their strengths, but your new one sound more mature and explores much better the thiefy aspects like climbing.
Two minor points you might want to consider: I found it a little bit strange to have this long bit of reminiscense to be mixed up in the very physical experience of climbing - maybe it would be better to save it for later and build up the tension.
The second thing is her attraction to the Lord - it's a little bit obvious, I think it would be better to only hint at it and reveal it's dept later (I haven't read the next parts of the original story jet, so I can't really tell)
I hope you continue your work! :)
