RavynousHunter on 4/8/2006 at 17:45
This is a journal scroll of a Hammerite named Brother Leiber.
This mission takes place in the ruins of the Maw.
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Day 1:
Today we hath travelled to the remanents of the Maw of Chaos that the thief Garrett hath all but destroyed.
We know not how it didst look to begin with, but this is completely unexpected. The place is very cold, mine own flesh shivers as the wind doth bite.
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Day 7:
Builder be my shield! This cold is unbearable! We hath been here for many days. Apparently, the gateway that led us into this frozen wasteland hath been closed by some magical force, possibly the works of the dastardly Trickster.
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Day 18:
As I doth shiver, I also doth fear for mine own life. Mine comrades, whom are very few now, doth report seeing frozen daemons about. I know not weather it be the truth, or the rantings of delirious madmen, but I doth hear strange things when I am nearst to sleep. Builder, save thy children from this nightmare!
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Day 27:
It is true! The daemons art real! I hath seen them with mine own eyes! They sendeth shivers down mine spine! Thier very presence seems to chill the already numbing air about me. Thier countenance tis most frightening. We believeth them to be the demiurges of the foul Trickster, as they bear his symbol on thier right hands.
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Day 32:
Over a month! We hath been in this frozen waste for over a month, keeping away from the view of the daemons. However, I doth fear for the sanity of mine bretheren. When I didst come back from attempting to gather wood for a fire, they wert devouring one of our fallen! Cannibalism in the ranks of the Builder! Trickster be damned!
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Day 48:
I am the only one left. If this be found by future generations of the Builder's chosen, let it be known that I stayed pure whilst mine bretheren didst consume eachother. The images of these daemons haunt me, even in mine dreams. I canst go on no longer... So tired... So hungry... Builder,
I am coming for thee
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Well, how do yall like it?
Meisterdieb on 4/8/2006 at 18:24
It sounds really good, as far as I can tell without knowing the background of the story. How far along are you with your mission. If it takes you back into the Maw (from Thief 1 I hope), I'll be looking forward to it.
Only thing I would change is putting the diary entry closer together, maybe only 2 or 3 weeks instead of the seven you have.
RavynousHunter on 4/8/2006 at 18:39
They were explorers, they came here with provisions for an extended stay (always go prepared), so they could feasibly survive for about 4 weeks on what they had. It was more than one hammer after all, more along the lines of 7-9.
The story is a work-in-progress as of now, im kinda doin what the T2 devs did.
But heres a bit of it:
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The Hammers have contracted me to find thier lost bretheren deep in the Maw of Chaos. I owe them from way back, so I figured it couldnt hurt and theres probably nothing left of Constantine's minions down there. Damn was I ever wrong, frozen daemons, and things just as bad. I managed to find a scroll, a journal of a Hammer that describes what went down. Apparently, theyve been stuck down here for well over a month, and theyre all dead. I've got the proof, but the gateway that was supposed to be here, isnt. Im going to have to backtrack all the bloody way back, I just pray that I dont earn the ire of one or more of those daemons. I cant wait to get back home.
This place give me the creeps.
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Heres a screeny of the first part:
Inline Image:
http://www.geocities.com/ravynoushunter/miss69.jpgArdesco on 4/8/2006 at 19:25
Quote Posted by RavynousHunter
Day 1:
Today we hath travelled to the
remanents (spelled remnants)
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Day 18:
As I doth shiver, I also doth fear for mine own life. Mine comrades, whom are very few now, doth report seeing frozen daemons about. I know not
weather (should be whether)
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Day 48:
I am the only one left. If this be found by future generations of the Builder's chosen, let it be known that I stayed pure whilst mine bretheren didst consume
eachother. (tis two words)
Well, how do yall like it?
Well, I love it! Great job! Hope you don't mind the spelling corrections, just want to help. And I like the screen shot, too. Looks chilly! :cheeky:
Goldmoon Dawn on 4/8/2006 at 19:48
You know Raven, I *am* currently playing through the Lost City... :sly:
:cheeky:
Im glad to see that you are still working with Dromed.
Keep it up!
:thumb:
themetalian on 4/8/2006 at 19:59
Errrrm. I will might be smite down towards the earth if I ask this question, but is this a fan mission? If so, then well done Ravynous! :thumb:
dlw6 on 4/8/2006 at 22:28
Nicely written. As hot as it is today, frozen daemons sound pretty good. :joke:
Don
RavynousHunter on 5/8/2006 at 03:40
yep, this be an FM. My first to be exact. I'm planning on using a lot of those little PaganLights all around this thing. Matter of fact, i dont think ima include many torches, it IS a frozen wasteland after all, so torches would kinda be outta the question.
The name will be:
"The Maw of Chaos ... Again"
Kind of inspired by Ultima Underworld 2, wandering about the ice realm, made me feel all chilly, especially when fighting Yeti's and eating dream-world-inducing plants. And also running out of food and starving to death before i could find a way out.
I think ima make more Ultima-inspired FM's, i think the next one will be in the Dream Realm from Serpent Isle, in the swamps of Gorlab. And maybe a White Dragon Castle. I need the music from those places, it would be absolutely perfect.
Heres screeny #2 of the starting room, much more stuff added:
Inline Image:
http://www.geocities.com/ravynoushunter/miss69_1.jpgThe water thing in the back is the "gateway" they had went thru originally, i decided to put it out of reach, for continuity's sake. It was red when they went thru it, now its blue, and none can go thru it.
DarkElf_Mairead on 5/8/2006 at 14:41
I love the blue walls, it's pretty and it makes a nice atmosphere.
themetalian on 5/8/2006 at 16:15
Really cool stuff Ravynous, make sure to make it more creepy and haunted, with some zombies! :thumb:
