I think I am having my midlife crisis... - by gunsmoke
gunsmoke on 25/12/2012 at 01:21
I sold my firearms, quit drowning myself in alcohol every day, hate my career choice, hate my family, want to buy another muscle car, am having trouble focusing on video games like I used to, get little to no enjoyment out of damn near everything that I used to love, etc...
I have a smoking hot girlfriend who would do ANYTHING for me at the drop of a hat. She cooks, cleans, and takes damn fine care of me without a single complaint. Hell, she has the libido of a 13 year old boy and I just can't be bothered half the time. Shame too. She is literally perfect. I have never seen a better put together woman. Every single friend I have tells me that I am the luckiest dude in the world and not to lose her. She is cool as FUCK. I mean, she is the only person on Earth that truly gets me and understands me on a near-cellular level. I am just not able to appreciate this stuff anymore, though.
I haven't said more than 2 words to my kid in a month. I am being a complete dick about Christmas and am going camping by myself tomorrow. I didn't buy anyone shit, but the kid. I got her a Mac desktop, but only because Jen stole my credit card and bought it when I was asleep. Pretty much the reason I am broke as hell.
This shit is weird, I am totally able to see all of this behavior, but am unable to do anything to change it. I don't know if I am unable or unwilling, it is just that nothing will fire to counter it. I don't even know if I give a shit though.
This is completely out of character for me. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this before, and if so, can offer any hint of what to do. I don't see what giving me a bunch of crap about it by way of flaming will do either, so I'd appreciate keeping those posts to yourself. I honestly don't like being like this, and am hoping for a way out.
Thanks for your time once again, TTLG.
Peanuckle on 25/12/2012 at 01:52
The most important question: How old are you?
It's been long known that women go through menopause, but now we've discovered that men go through a similar experience. Put simply, testosterone production drops like a stone and this causes most of the problems.
If you're around 40, then that might be the case. Hormone replacement is a common thing nowadays (look up Dzugan, they provide you with stuff to keep your body at the chemical state it was in your prime).
Azaran on 25/12/2012 at 01:53
I've been feeling like that on and off for about a year now, since I turned 31. It comes and goes. I usually just brush it off as temporary depression, but I agree it's really annoying. Just try and hang out with friends more often, that usually relieves it for me personally.
Meditation also helps me more often than not.
gunsmoke on 25/12/2012 at 03:37
I am 37. And, yeah, I probably should hang out with friends more. I have been isolating quite a bit.
june gloom on 25/12/2012 at 06:54
Dude, you need to reconnect with people. I think that's step one.
Step two is to maybe consider seeing a professional. I've known you for a while now and I think you really do need someone to talk to -- you've been through the wringer, man!
And of course we all do care about you, as well.
Phatose on 25/12/2012 at 07:11
It doesn't really sound like a typical mid-life crisis. Those are typically about reclaiming a lost youth....
Getting the smoking hot nympho girlfriend, getting drunk for fun, playing video games. I suppose buying a sport car might qualify, if that's something you connect with youth...still, not exactly typical. But maybe this is what happens mid-life if you never actually lost young you?
But maybe that's because it's about not knowing what you want? Fuck, I don't know.
SubJeff on 25/12/2012 at 07:22
This sounds like a mood disorder. See a doctor, you'll be surprised at how much getting to the bottom of it can help. And tell your girlfriend exactly what you've told us - it's good to share. Get upset about it, really accept that something is wrong and then do something about it. The source child be anything and you just haven't realised it yet. You're stressed at work sometimes for example.
Good luck and Merry Christmas.
Mr.Duck on 25/12/2012 at 09:30
*Hugs*
Heed some of the sound advice being given here, boyo.
Reconnect with peeps and family, seek professional help.
Muzman on 26/12/2012 at 10:16
You sound depressed man. Not the interesting dramatic sort that's a little more obvious. Just the vaguely listless kind that frustrates you and everyone else around you. It's not a blame thing though, keep that in mind
It's a bit of a crap shoot sometimes how people will react, but it is better to bring them into the picture that you might be a bit out of sorts. Particularly immediate family. They seem like the understanding kind.
Volitions Advocate on 26/12/2012 at 10:38
Biggest thing is don't try to sweep it under a rug. SubJeff is probably right (I dont know anything about mood disorders, I mean about getting to the bottom of it). Take responsibility by the balls and take credit for everything you've done, good and bad and be perfectly honest with everyone. I don't mean be a dick about everything, I just mean make sure everything is out in the open and don't try to hide anything that is festering inside of you. Talk to the people you need to talk to to make things right, and if they don't want to have anything to do with it, then the ball is not in your court anymore and you did what you needed to.
Above all be honest with yourself, and don't feel shame at asking for help, and don't give up trying to get out of the funk.
You've been through worse, but problems are problems, regardless of the weight of the issue, attack it head on.
Be humble, be honest. You'll do it. Merry Christmas man.
