Scots Taffer on 7/2/2011 at 05:09

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Heh, I wonder how many people have started a response and wrangled with the reply so much they gave up. I can't really even a see a way to make a small comment on the sociological impacts of porn because it's such a complex issue.

I think there are a number of things at play here and they interact with each other a lot so they can't really be discussed in isolation: the impact of porn on people's lives and society, the prevailing attitudes towards porn, and porn itself.

What is porn?
In its simplest form, depictions of eroticism designed to provide sexual gratification. We all know there are many kinds of porn, from pedestrian and widely accepted to illegal and fairly abominable.

What is the prevailing attitude towards porn today?
It would seem, on the surface, fairly accepting in most modern societies.
Nowadays a lot of couples in their 20s openly discuss their porn collections and expect to casually swap anecdotes (joking or otherwise) about blowjobs, anal sex and three-ways. Mainstream movies and TV shows deal with sex in explicit detail. We are bombarded with sexual imagery on a constant basis. Sex, or more accurately porn, is used to sell pretty much everything and largely conducted with a sleazy appealing-to-the-horndog-masses overtone.
Porn is pretty much everywhere, so it would seem natural to conclude that it's fairly accepted.

However from that assumption onwards and moving into the area of the impact of porn on people's lives, it begins to get messy. And I mean watersports messy.

How does porn impact people's lives?
Well, your mileage may vary but ultimately it all depends on your boundaries, and how society responds to changing boundaries is where I reckon it all gets very complicated.

Ultimately though, the progression of porn into mainstream media presents a very complicated situation for a lot of people - particularly parents (as Piglick pointed out), but also those who aren't open and honest with each other in their relationships about porn (as the_grip pointed out), and those who allow their expectations to be shaped by porn (as Kolya pointed out).

Porn, like any other form of media, is an idealised version of reality. Media influences our lives and alters social expectations. In this sense, it would take a lot of work to ignore that porn is a negative social force - it presents women as sexual slaves with no identity, puts forward a body image of women that is unrealistic, and offers a platform for unhealthy appetites to be aired for mass consumption and acceptance.

However, because it serves its purpose as sexual gratification, most men are perfectly willing and accepting to sweep any residual negativity that may arise directly or indirectly through porn under the carpet. The changing social mores of modern society make this easy too, because when anything gets too complicated, just say that anything with anti-porn connotations is religious moralism and dismiss it.

The way that a few people responded to demagogue's concerns interests me. While I don't have a strong opinion on what he says one way or the other, I think that the fact that linking pornography with greater social ills (in any way) rankles some indicates that the openness and honesty that the_grip suggest is needed is perhaps furthest away from those who claim to be the most well adjusted.

The fact remains that a lot of people aren't comfortable with pornography despite how in your face it is today and I think a large part of that is because people aren't honest about why they're using it, and if they did go down that rabbithole they'd find that there are more questions than answers.

All of that said, I think the "problem" is with media-saturation and the way that falsehoods perpetuated in the media, particularly mainstream media such as film and TV, create expectations that ultimately ruin people's perceptions of things they would otherwise be happy with.

NB. I have about five pages worth of discarded post that I have not posted.

edit: Oh yeah, meant to bring this one up:



Jason, not sure if this is intentional but this post sounds either asexual or misogynist. Care to explain?

PigLick on 7/2/2011 at 09:08

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I like the flaps, gives me something to HANG ON TO!

winks at the camera

Vasquez on 7/2/2011 at 14:13

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Okay, + IMHO

Briareos H on 7/2/2011 at 15:03

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Yeah, until full frontal, hardcore tit-creampie becomes so boring that you realise what you've always actually loved in sex is the moment you open that cleavage. And thus go back to preferring erotic photoshoots.

I'm quite thankful to the porn industry for providing me so much bestial content since I'm 15 that I haven't had to worry about how/what people do but rather what I want with my partner.
That, and the few fetishes I picked on the road.

Stitch on 7/2/2011 at 16:50

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*raises hand*

This is actually kind of a relevant topic to me right now, and it's been giving me a lot to think about.

I wouldn't have necessarily considered myself a heavy porn user, but I certainly got in my share. If single I'd consume about as much as you'd expect, and when dating I'd manage to squeeze in at least a session or two a week.

I didn't think much about it at the time as my sex life seemed pretty healthy--porn didn't rule my sexual thoughts in general and during moments of intimacy my mental attention was always incredibly focused on my partner--but the fact remains that I usually managed to "make time" for porn in the same way that I'd make time for any other hobby that didn't involve a girlfriend. I wasn't sneaking off to the bathroom with a Penthouse during dates or anything but I typically enjoyed a bit or internet surfing after a weekend of "together time."

All of which has now changed, as a combination of prior porn burnout (three years in a doomed long distance relationship will do that) and hyper-frequent real life sex has resulted in me being in a relationship in which I am not carving out space for pornography.

And, honestly, the sex has never been better.

I well recognize the dangers of drawing from specific personal experiences to make broad conclusions about larger issues, but I can't deny that there is a greater level of intimacy and passion in my current relationship than I've ever really known before. Part of it is just the fact that we're still in the honeymoon phase, yes, and a certain amount of it all can just be chalked up to chemistry, but I'm forced to admit that not diluting my sexual attention has definitely resulted in a far superior sexual connection between me and my girlfriend. I'm not giving advice or claiming that this is how anyone else should operate, but focusing my sexual attraction solely on my partner has worked well for me personally.

In fact, my few attempts to reconnect with porn during the occasional night off have felt oddly lonely, like I'm watching footage of a party that I wasn't invited to. Christ, even typing this has me all but rolling my eyes as this pretty much counters everything that I've ever believed when it comes to porn, and I'll probably reread these words a year from now and laugh at how naive I was while making conclusions during the most passionate phase of a new relationship.

But I hope not, and I'm going to do everything I can to hold onto the laser-like focus that is my current sexual attention. In the meantime this means pretty much steering clear of porn, unless it's consumed as part of an evening spent getting freaky with my lady.