Yakoob on 24/11/2010 at 05:16

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Well, fortunately after all the installation adventures, the game is finally up and running!

The beginning was rather disappointing. The V.O. (Polish) just felt wrong. Half seemed very monotonic and lifeless, and suffering from the "shot in a studio" syndrome (i.e. too clear and crisp, no reverb due to location etc.) But oh well, there's some crazy mad bitch at the gates so nevermind that...

PROLOGUE:

[spoiler]
When the Siege began, I decided to go with Tits down to the lab but, of course, being a woman, her efforts ended up in lying on the ground clenching her stomach. "I underestimated the mage!" Yea right, bitch, it's that time of the month and you cant deal with a wee bit cramp. where's your healing magic now, huh? Cast some Lv.3 Tylenon and get down to help me clear the lab you twat.

So we go down and of course Leo being a tool that he is charges head first towards a guy with a crossbow. And dies. Thank you, Darwin. But here comes my second (after vo) criticism of the game - it tries to pull the good old "my best friend got killed by the antagonist, ergo I am going to hate the antagonist!" But our "best friend" is some dude we've known only for about 30 minutes during which he has proven to be an insurmountable retard. Oh well!

So I fucked Tits and went to to the outskirts of Wyzima (or whateverthefuck you call it in English)

[/spoiler]

ACT 1:
[spoiler]
So I begin my wonder around the town, still unimpressed, and the good old Zelda scenario welcomes us - "go into house - rob everything possible - the housekeepr hopes to see you again." Feels like a chore but noo "I MIGHT MISS AN UMPORTANT ITEM HUR DUR." So after exiting like the 5th identical house, I noticed all the people are running around, yelling, and generally acting apeshit. WTF? Until I realize hey - it's raining. And they're running under the huts to protect themselves from the rain! That's kinda... cool.

So I get the main quests from the religious fanatic of a priest to impress some dumbass guard, a fisherman with a stutter and a fatty. So I go to the fisherman and protect his loot, killing the squirrel elves cause dude you ain't gonna be touchin my client's shit! Approval +1.

Now I go to the dumbass guard and, hey... The voiceovers don't seem so terrible anymore I realize. The dumb uneducated peasants actually SOUND like dumb uneducated peasants. And I mean, all with typical half-assing and mis-pronounciations that is so very, very typical of the "village" people in Poland. Whoa, tht is pretty damn cool actually and makes me wonder how much of that is lost in the English version.

But anyway, I clear the crypt pretty quickly, Approval +1, and then go on a drinking binge with the fat dude who's dog wont stop barking (which is starting to remind me of something) and kill his plants by setting them on fire. Approval +1, and that is all I need!

So coming back at night, the hooker from the bar asks me to escort her home as the dogs are on her ass. And here's when the combat gets on my fucking nerves with constant (2 minute long) reloads due to "Hey did you REALLY click on the enemy or just the ground next to him? I'm not really sure so oh well, i'll just make Geralt stand like a tool for a few turns while the girl gets raped."

Anyway, fast forward a few steps and I kill all the salamander thugs in the cave. Turns out the priest has been sending them the kiddos. That cunt! And then Abigail - what? Oh this is reminding me of something again. But anyway, seeing as she had massive tits I just fucked, I felt obligated to side with her. Killed the evil dog, then all the peasants as the village is set on fire.

And now I finally remember! This whole act is a wonderful tribute to Dogville! A seemingly quiet town plagued by problems that turn out to be due to the villager's own evil, greedy and jealous nature, ending in destruction of the whole town, as the single girl leaves. And, of course, the theme of dogs. Ah, there was one opportunity for a great direct reference missed I thought - after you killed the priest and his buddies, in the final dialogue with Abigail, it would have been so awesome if the Fatty's dog came up and started barking at you (like before), and Geralt would half-draw his sword only to have Abigail stop him - "he's only angry because they took his bone." If only...
[/spoiler]

Opening of ACT 2
[spoiler]
I haven't played this yet, but the opening was marvelous. The guy bitchin in the cell, baldy getting all up ready for a smackdown, and Geralt only sarcastically remarking - "Pieknie, Kurwa... pieknie." ["Wonderful, fucking wonderful," which, I'm sorry to say guys, just doesn't sound nearly as good in English...]
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And here's where I realize - fuck - the VOs are actually really awesome! Perhaps I am biased but the typical polish vocabulary, common phrases and even regional differences in dialect seep nicely into the character's language. A priest sounds like an old priesty man. A drunk sounds properly drunk (not pretend-drunk), and a goddamn stupid uneducated peasant sounds like a goddamn stupid uneducated peasant you'd find in some small farm town at the outskirts of Poland, complete withe the total butchering of common words and pronounciations typical to those regions :D The limited use of swear words is also very effective and satisfying (I loved it when Geralt finds out the priest sent the kids to salamder and he says "son of a-" and cuts off. Only to, about 10 minutes later, when exiting the cave, yell "you son of a bitch" in full rage to the guy. Holding off on the initial swear has really built the anticipation to make that delivery SO SATISFYING :D) I am kinda curious to play the English version and see how they managed to preserve that (if they did, that is.)

A few pet peeves tho:
- Why does Geralt keep hiding his weapon after every skirmish? It's so annoying when you keep going through an area with a lot of enemies.
- The inventory is a bitch to use. Too many icons that are too small and to similar. There's no fucking way to tell the difference between different elixirs. And the ingredient list also does not give a clear feedback on what each ingredient provides until you hover over it. All this makes it really hard to asses your resources.
- Speaking of inventory, why can I only carry 4 weapons? Seriously? I cant even carry extras to sell. Bummer.
- I mentioned it before, but the combat is really annoying in case sensitive scenarios (i.e. you have someone you need to protect). Half the time I click I end up accidentally clicking on the ground instead and wasting time or losing my position. And the "pause" is useless too since it doesn't Queue up actions. Not to mention how many times I gave geralt an order to move, attack or use a sign in pause only to have him stand still like a tard after I unpause.
And whats up with being insta-attack after level transition / cutscene end, giving you no time to even draw your weapon? Annoying as hell and cause of a few unnecessary reloads :/
- Oh and is it just me or is food practically useless at healing you, unless you eat like 10 chicken breasts and wait for five minutes...?

Anyway, on to Act 2!

DDL on 24/11/2010 at 18:38

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I quite like the food heal system. Along with the potions, it's..well, closer to something ostensibly plausible than your average RPG (take near-fatal blow, inventory pause, drink potion, BACK TO FULL HEALTH): you stand there like a muppet for quite a while eating/drinking, and then the benefits are both mild, and slooooow. You either anticipate a hard fight and get all pre-drugged up and angry, or you go in cold and save any restoratives for when shit is over. Plus, potion toxicity!

SO with you on the inventory though. So many torches, axes and daggers I could've sold if it'd let me....