Microsoft patents not letting you play games and teasing you because you're fat

PeeperStorm on 19/12/2009 at 16:48

Article (http://games.slashdot.org/story/09/12/18/1649253/Microsoft-Seeks-Patent-On-Shaming-Fat-Gamers?art_pos=8) here, patent application (http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=%2220090309891%22.PGNR.&OS=DN/20090309891&RS=DN/20090309891) here.

Someone ought to tell them that there's several thousand years of prior use in schoolyards on this one. Added bonus, it requires giving a game company access to your medical records.

But wait, it gets better! "Shaping your gaming experiences" based on the various other circumstances of your personal life sounds like loads of fun too: "Want to play as a mage? Sorry, our records indicate that you never finished high school. Mage class is only available to college graduates."

GRRRR on 19/12/2009 at 16:58

Id actually be interested what fucked up character that game would make based on me :cheeky:

PS not fat

nicked on 19/12/2009 at 19:59

Yay, let's remove all the escapism from our escapist hobby by bringing bullying and segregation into the virtual world!

Aerothorn on 19/12/2009 at 21:08

(http://www.xbox.com/en-US/live) We're there already.

june gloom on 20/12/2009 at 01:52

Inline Image:

http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20080526wiifit.png

Iroquois on 20/12/2009 at 01:57

I am actually surprised. I somehow doubt people will start losing weight instead of just switching to Sony and Ninty to play games. I know I'd launch the system out of the window if my videogames told me I were fat. I'd expect something greedier from Microsoft.

nicked on 20/12/2009 at 09:49

Quote:

Only requisite health levels are allowed to compete in a certain competition level. A dedicated gamer could exercise for a period of time until his health indicator gadget shows a sufficiently high health/health credit in order to allow reentering the avatar environment.' Linking one's gaming avatar to one's physique, explains Microsoft, will produce healthy and virtuous behaviors in individuals.

This bit should be included in the dictionary under "optimistic".
So I'm a dedicated gamer who's overweight. I have two choices: a) give up pizza, and exercise regularly, for month or so to lose a few pounds and then be able to start playing the game again. b) trade in the game that called me fat and go play something less demanding while continuing to sit comfortably and eat pizza.

Ooo, or in fact c) Mod/chip/hack the first game so I can play the "healthy" parts from the comfort of my fat ass.

I'm sorry, but you're gonna need one hell of an unskippable, sublime, unrivalled piece of gaming heaven to convince anyone to pick option a.

Sulphur on 20/12/2009 at 11:53

On the other hand, if it indeed IS an unskippable, sublime, unrivalled piece of gaming heaven, all the more reason for choosing option C.

Soviet Travolta on 20/12/2009 at 12:02

It looks like another attempt to make parents have even less responsability in their children's education/care. Now they need to have the gaming system suggest their kid they should do more exercice instead of, you know, be parents and confiscate the console and throw the kid outdoor.

Why take the blame of poor education when you can blame it on the world?

SubJeff on 20/12/2009 at 22:40

My favourite bit is this: "Microsoft also proposes shaping gaming experiences by using 'psychological and demographic information such as education level, geographic location, age, sex, intelligence quotient, socioeconomic class, occupation, marital/relationship status, religious belief, political affiliation, etc.'"

Yeah right. I play games to get away from the real world. What is this crap? I don't believe it but its not April 1st. There is on way they are this stupid, is there?