Readables in Fan Missions – too long, Audiolog Syndrome

DarkThief Darek on 11/12/2017 at 17:01

So, I am a fan mission creator myself and try to stick to the original mission style as close as possible – including readables.
I know there are players out there that don’t like to read at all, and others don’t mind reading backstory on things happening in the FM.
While reading some small feedback for my FM in another forum I also came across a word I never heard before in this context: Audiolog Syndrome.

After trying to find, what’s exactly been criticized with that I came to the following conclusion:

Quote:

Audiolog syndrome has a person that would write about everything, even if it’s not the appropriate situation to write or if it’s a secret that no one should know or at least not a certain kind.
Example: a bad person writes about his secrets and skeletons in his closet and Garrett can find out simply by reading the book… or the city guards, if they would search the place for evidence – the negative effect is more prevalent if the readable isn’t even hidden and lies on an open table in the middle of the room. (or maybe it’s not an Audiolog syndrome, if it’s hidden, I don’t know)

I see this in many FMs and most importantly, it’s also present in the OMs. For example, in Bonehoard Felix and his crew write about their fate while dying down there. Of course, no one would do this in real life, but it’s there so Garrett can learn something from the past and/or give gameplay hints (for secrets for example).

So of course, I copied that a bit in my previous released FM to give some backstory and gameplay hints and not to provide the player with vague hints to a possible backstory and no gameplay hints at all (I don't like hey hunts with no hint whatsoever). Also, if the book with sensitive information is well hidden, why shouldn’t the person write about the stuff if it’s for example a diary?
Sometimes I value the need to inform the player what actually is going on instead of asking myself “would a person really write all this in a diary?”.

I wish the criticism for my FM was more detailed on that part so I could learn something from it, but therefore I make this thread.
What do you think is the right way to write stuff in a FM?
What do the players want to read, what is too much? (with examples)
Are you annoyed from the described Audiolog syndrome or find it sometimes necessary to understand certain story-parts?

I would like to hear your opinion about this.

trefoilknot on 11/12/2017 at 17:20

It's a good question. I love a rich story, but hate having to mouse through endless journals/diaries/whatever else. It's especially frustrating when you can't tell the difference between useless* text that just adds flavor, versus necessary info/helpful clues.

My advice would be to make it clear which bits are relevant and which are not. Players who want to engross themselves in the backstory can pour over everything, while those who just want to get on with it will know where they can skim and/or skip altogether. One way to do this (in most cases) is to have relevant info go into the inventory, while unnecessary info is read in-word, and then left there. This won't work for everything (e.g., Plaques---but how often do you see a multi-page plaque?!), but should help a bit.

Other than that, it's just a matter of tight writing. Can the same information/mood/atmosphere be conveyed in a shorter readable? The answer is almost always 'yes,' but this takes a lot of discipline and, to be honest, a bit of talent as well.

As to readables that are unrealistic and silly (e.g., documenting your own demise), this never really bothered me. Obviously it's a game device and in most cases people wouldn't do this. But it's not out of the question. In real life, if I were dying in some subterranean crypt somewhere (without wifi), I'd probably VLOG some of my dying moments, in case my body was found.

*I don't mean the word 'useless' as a bad thing. Just that the readable has no practical use to the player in advancing through the mission.

skacky on 11/12/2017 at 17:24

Not everyone is a writer and writing good readables is not easy. Audiolog syndrome is hard to avoid but there are some easy steps that can alleviate or outright prevent it:

- First, you need to ask yourself if your readable makes sense in context. A guard wouldn't have a diary with 10+ pages of purple prose; this is more for bored nobles who believe they are important, hot-shot writers even if what they write is tiresome dross. For example, I believe an audiolog readable is perfectly fine if the person is a narcissist who believes their life is absolutely amazing and they need to chronicle it down to the tiniest detail. Players know from the get-go that this readable is written like that on purpose.
- Second, and this is an extension of the first point, you need to get into the shoes of the person who writes. What's their job? How do they think? What are their motives? Even if the readable turns into an audiolog, defining the writer's traits and personality makes a world of difference and can turn a seriously boring, generic diary into one full of personality. If the person is a merchant, have a ledger with accounts and maybe a comment or two. If they're a guard, have a table of patrols with potential unusual events reported.
- A good way to avoid audiolog syndrome is to have readables be letters instead of diaries, even unfinished or unsent ones. Diaries and journals are very specific things and very few people would write these. Correspondence on the other hand is widespread and is a very good way to convey information in a natural manner. It also reinforces the voyeuristic nature of being a thief by reading stuff that isn't directed at you. Also, you can be more cryptic in letters since the two correspondents usually know what they're talking about.
- Common sense is also important: don't describe everything that happens. Stuff like "oh no, they're coming after me! aaaaargh!!" is both stupid and ridiculous. No one would ever write that. No one would ever write for themselves if they're in mortal danger, which brings me to the example of the Bonehoard: I see the thieves' journals more as testimonies and warnings for potential plunderers who discover their corpses rather than personal diaries. I think these work in context.

Regarding the length of readables, I try not to go beyond 2 pages for important, plot-related readables. I find stuff that's more than 5 pages pretty boring most of the time, so if there's an important hint somewhere it's even worse. Be precise and go to the point with important readables.

Another convention I use with readables is that I make all important readables go into the player's inventory while I make the unimportant, flavor text readables unpickable. I HATE it when you have an important plot-related readable you can't pick. It's just cheap and there is little reason to make it unpickable in the first place (other than, say, a plaque). This way, players know that the readable they just picked is important, and they can read it whenever they want.

Judith on 11/12/2017 at 18:07

In a way, it's quite simple: if you want to write stories for other people to read, maybe you should be a writer. If you're interested in gameplay, you have much more interesting ways to tell stories than walls of text. Even OMs used readables to hint things, provide a subtle backstory, and let players fill the gaps with their imagination. There's very powerful tool in games called environmental storytelling, and it works better than any audio log, cutscene, or custom conversation. There are some very interesting presentations on that, you can look it up on Google or YT. When in doubt, look at OMs or maybe other stealth games. OMs were never filled with long conversations, detailed story exposition or anything like that. Even briefings and story cutscenes are short and to-the-point. Missions are typically mini-standboxes, filled with ways to solve problems, have room for improvisation and making mistakes. Mini-worlds that react to what player does, first and foremost, so the player can tell his little story with the tools and mission you gave him. A player is neither a viewer nor a reader, there are other mediums that are better for that.

gnartsch on 11/12/2017 at 21:18

Everything said so far is very true.
Personally, I appreciate reading about the people I am stealing from... understanding who they are and what their relations are to other people in the mission, ... what is going on, etc.
It's nice to have some funny texts among them, even if they serve no purpose.
But after 5 or 6 pages I get really bored. Because first of all I want to play the mission, not reading books or poems.
But if you don't know if page 10+ might contain a hint on a riddle, or some other super important info, one has no other chance other than at least to read across the pages carefully enough to be able to recall IF there was any clue to be found somewhere in any readable.
I would appreciate if important readables go into my inventory and all other 'crap' stays out.
It's a nightmare on it's own scrolling through all the keys, books, food and other stuff piling up in the inventory.
As an alternative Garrett might say 'Interesting', 'Hmmm...', or some negative uttering to indicate whether reading the text was important or a pure waste of time (according to his profession).
To some extent I also appreciate when authors add a page reading '... Garrett skips through a couple of pages ...'.
Like that, one can shorten irrelevant passages in a diary or historic texts or whatever else, yet still providing some background info covering the time from decades ago until today without having to bloat it up too much.

yxlplig on 12/12/2017 at 00:34

I still have yet to create anything with DromEd, but I have some design ideas written down and I'll paste my thoughts on readables. Most of this has already been stated in this thread, but regardless:

1) Do not have an excessive number of long readables; maximum of 1 page turn for most readables, and if absolutely necessary (it probably is not) 1 long readable (ie 10 pages) per every hour of gameplay

2) Foreshadow events with newspapers in the first few minutes of gameplay (this is just something I really like in Eshaktaar missions)

3) Give NPCs names and create readables with their schedule/security clearances (if it makes sense to) <- There was an early contest mission by Yandros that did this very well

4) Writing good readables:
diaries should not be exposition dumps, they should be about how that character feels about the current situation and what their goals are all readables must make sense and must pass the following test: if your colleague wrote something like this in real life, would you consider them to be insane or an idiot? (exceptions can be made if they are an idiot)

In general with Thief, merely distancing yourself from your work and making sure everything makes logical sense goes a long way. Ask yourself if you could realistically expect this conversation/journal/correspondence to take place in this way.

downwinder on 12/12/2017 at 02:24

my thoughts on readable's,make the pages interesting ,best ones i ever seen have pictures/drawing on them,makes it way more interesting to look at/read

over the years i have grown to like reading the readable's in thief games,but anything more then 2 pages per any one readable is a bit much in my view,unless you use what i posted in top sentence

over all make the readable more then a bunch of text on a boring page

also shorter readable means you can add more readable in mission just shorter in length :)=more scattered through out mission

Tommyph1208 on 12/12/2017 at 10:02

I agree with much being said here, especially the points made by skacky about the authors personality and putting text in letters rather than diaries... I never cared much for diaries, and believe that only very few people would write, say a confession of their crimes or similar in their diary and then leave it there on the night table for anyone to pick up...
A letter to a secret lover on the other hand? Now that is a whole different nature...
I also have never DormeEd'ited (is that a word/thing?), but could imagine doing environmental storytelling in an aging engine where you have to jump hoops to make things happen can prove a tough challenge.

ffox on 12/12/2017 at 12:02

Quote Posted by downwinder

also shorter readable means you can add more readable in mission just shorter in length :)=more scattered through out mission

Surely that defeats the purpose? Most (not all) players want to read less total verbiage, not the same amount in smaller doses. Imho if a readable is absolutely necessary it should be short with hints. If I want to read a tome I'll go to the library.

trefoilknot on 12/12/2017 at 14:44

I think there's a bit of truth to what Downwinder says. If you hold the total amount of reading constant, having it all in one concentrated chunk breaks up the gameplay more than if it's scattered around the mission. It's a small difference, and not as important as the other tips, but it's certainly a difference.