Vivian on 13/5/2012 at 00:56

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I immediately went home and did some hard sums and an entire book of magic eye pictures

when I say hard I probably mean intermediate

I actually managed to xray my own skull a couple of months ago but I didn't manage to save the footage - stuck my head in one of these devices: (http://www.xromm.org/)

(NB if any of you are secretly government funding bodies I need a lot more time on one of those devices)

either way - results inconclusive. I ran a battery of tests and I am still about 40% dickhead.

when I say battery of tests I mean I tried to look at a pencil out of both eyes, span around with my eyes shut, as well as the whole x-ray thing

demagogue on 13/5/2012 at 01:23

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Speaking of magic eye pictures, somebody gave me a book of those 3D stereograms, the kind where you have to cross your eyes to see them, and I literally spent all night doing them, like 5 hours straight, and at the end, I looked up and around the room and realized I couldn't uncross my eyes to see normal reality anymore. My eyes just stayed crossed and all the walls and tables were just permanently blurred and doubled, nothing could focus, and I'd have to really physically force them to uncross, then they'd just drift back crossed again. For about 4 or 5 minutes I thought all of reality was just going to stay permanently cross-eyed.

Finally I had to just turn out all the lights and shut my eyes tight for like two minutes straight. Tears started welling through because I thought I had seriously and permanently fucked up my life royally and for the rest of my life ... again. Then with a weak and frankly terrified timidity, I turned the lights back on and slowly peeked opened my eyes, fearing for the worst.

The scene around me slowly swept into view and very gradually resolved into a coherent and unified reality, to my galactic relief. Once in focus, the scene did not drift. But still I could feel, just on the tip of my will power, still the nudging desire to drift back into incoherence that I fought off and tried to forget. I've been trying to forget that awful feeling ever since. I had dodged a bullet this time, but I was under no illusion how frail my reality really was when push came to shove.

Sulphur on 13/5/2012 at 06:02

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I'm quite lump-free, thank you. But my gramps? He had one the size of a walnut on his supraorbital frontal area. He was a doctor who lectured often at universities. Whenever he spoke, he had a tendency to arch his eyebrows, and his left eyebrow would slide up and nestle cozily against it, making you want to giggle out loud.

Which you wished you hadn't done, because his steely-eyed stare would level you to the ground inside of a second. Also he was a bit of an asshole with an ego as large as fucking Everest and as deep as the fucking Mariana trench, but that's a story without enough lumps for this thread, so I'll spare you the details.

Vivian: do not let this happen to you

edit: I know it might be too late, get the lump out at least

demagogue on 13/5/2012 at 09:41

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With the bird to share this lonely view...

Muzman on 13/5/2012 at 12:15

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I've really got to see The Warriors again.