Sooo... Bastion? - by Koki
Koki on 8/8/2011 at 17:27
Kind of fitting it hit Steam just as Stanley Parable was released.
(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmKwvrn7NLM) Here is some gameplay if you don't know what it's about.
I'm... not too sure about it. I guess it will come down to how they handle the controls. There will be a demo supposedly so that's covered.
And do I correctly recognize the narrator as the arms dealer from MGS4?
Sulphur on 8/8/2011 at 17:36
You won't like it.
It's got a gimmicky voice narrator that you wish would shut up because the game doesn't know what you actually want to do most of the time.
It's got an 'ooh pretty' gimmick where the world falls into place in front of you, but all that does is slow you down from getting from where you are to where you want to go.
It's probably also got underbalanced melee/whatever that makes ranged far more effective than the others and hence is also fucking boring.
You'll probably fucking hate it.
Warren's Spectre on 8/8/2011 at 17:55
Well it's not out, you can only pre-order it. Trauma is released today and Nikopol is only 2 pound. Is it worth it guys?
Koki on 8/8/2011 at 18:10
Quote Posted by Warren's Spectre
Is it worth it guys?
nope
Renzatic on 8/8/2011 at 20:09
Looks awesome.
Wait...I mean it looks like one of those cheesy ass jap games you see come out of glorious nippon every other day, but it's really made by a bunch of oxygen wasting slant-eyed wannabe weaboos. That's a double dose of suck right there, and I won't ever play it. I hate them so much. :mad:
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go play some TURN BASED WESTERN STRATEGY RPGs MADE FOR GODDAMN GENIUSES WITH TASTE SUCH AS MYSELF WHO ARE PICKY BECAUSE WE ALL LIKE TO PRETEND WE'RE CYNICAL JADED FUCKS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GET BLOWN IN HIGH SCHOOL! EAT MY BALLBAG!
Jason Moyer on 8/8/2011 at 20:46
Isn't it just a western style click-and-slash?
june gloom on 8/8/2011 at 21:20
Renzatic you are a beautiful beautiful man
Yakoob on 8/8/2011 at 22:46
I second the Dethtoll. Renz, that was beautiful and reflects my exact impression of watching the video. Though I was disappointed by the jarring grimmdark narrator/dialog. I was hoping for more of this:
Narrator-san: 友達の手伝いでヒロくんのグランドアドベンチャーは始まる！
(With the help of his friend's, Hiro's grand adventure beings)
Hiro: Yuki-chan, we must find the MEGA shuriken!
Yuki: Hai! You are right, my name means courage, lets begin searchu! Imofaggu-san, what do you think?
Imofaggu: ...
Hiro: WELL PUT! Lets go, before-
BLAM SPLSH RAINBOW TURTLE BOOM
Narrator: たちまち、ドラマ~！　
(Suddenly, Drama!)
Yuki: Oh no Hiro-kun, we are too late!
Imofaggu: ...
Hiro: You're right, even though we spent two years pursing the evil mage, he was only manipulated by the TRUE DOPELGANGER... DIABLO-KUN!
Diablo-kun: KONICHIWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ~=^.^=~ NEEEEEEE
Yuki: He is so Kawaii, but we must destroy him, this is the moral conflict of a narrative. He is also my father and he created all of us in a lab so that one day we might travel back in time triggering a paradox that would make him meet with my mother that is the secret love object of Imofaggu who's been double-crossing us all along, but it's ok because he-
Hiro: OH LOOK LIMIT BREAK
Diablo-kun: *dies*
Narrator-San: この難しい奮闘で、この長く恐ろしい旅のおかげで、ヒロたちは人生の本当な意味を習って着ました。親善。。。犠牲。。。勇気。。。一番大事なこと：ロブ。さようならヒロくん。ずっと本当にありがとう。
(Thanks to this difficult struggle, this long and dreadful journey, Hiro-kun and friends learn the true meaning of life. Friendship... sacrifice... courage... and most importantly: love. Goobye Hiro kun. Thank you for everything!)
Renzatic on 8/8/2011 at 23:19
That made me laugh so hard, I spit hot calpis all over my wall scrolls! LOL
I'd follow that up, Yakoob, but...well...I secretly cut myself while watching episodes of Death Note. I don't wanna be too big of a hypocrite here.
Jason Moyer on 8/8/2011 at 23:25
Call me back when someone does a fantasy western hack and slash with japanese school girls and predatory tentacles.
