Nedan on 31/3/2003 at 21:42

---

This thread is by far the funniest gag I've read in a long while. :laff:

Ignatius, you da man! :thumb:

Ignatius on 1/4/2003 at 00:54

---

It's so nice to get such great feedback on this old post. I'm very flattered, but also a bit mystified since the original post was not a joke.

I'm sorry that I'm not around much to chat with you all now... but as most of you know, I am a time traveller. And while it may appear that I'm lurking in 2003, I'm actually posting to TTLG quite often in 2011 (of course, all of you are there). I'm not really supposed to talk about what's happening in the future (because of the PoNMuT (Pact of Not Messing-up Time) signed in 2195 by Stalin and Lincoln), but I will reveal that in 2011 we (and that includes future you's) are very excited about Thief III finally going gold. It's really good, I have the demo. I would share it with you, but the req's are a bit steep (it requires a 2.5 terahertz processor). But it's really good, trust me. The AI is so advanced, that in the game you can actually sneak up on guards who are actually playing Thief I (and ghosting, at that).

I don't want to reveal any more stuff, but in many ways 2011 is just like 2003. For one, TTLG is still having server trouble (of course, in 2011 the server is run entirely through Msledd's brain).

Oh, one more thing... the 2011 sailoreagle wants to tell the 2003 sailoreagle to avoid that pool of glowing muck, unless she wants that extra set of eyes.

Forje on 1/4/2003 at 04:22

---

Oh my god! That pic is fooken GOLD Ignatius! :laff:

I'm glad people keep digging this up :p I want a go-kart with little "Garrett" license plates now :cheeky:

Rolewn on 9/4/2003 at 02:48

---

:joke:

Now lets look at the weapons you get to use;

bommersword: A modified version of garret's old sword. Now its thrown like a boomerang since swords dont work well at high speeds!

Cracker jack: The candy. You spill it on the ground, and other racers stick to it. Nobody notices when you pull it out, unlike all the other weapons.

Broadhead arrow: Just like they were in the original thief; now with the ability to flatten tires! They can still kill if aimed at the driver though. Hard to aim at high sppeds, though, especially when you should be paying attention to turning, and keeping your hands on the wheel while aiming, but whatever, anything goes. Make sure you only use arrows of any kind on a straightaway; that way you have time to actually pull back the string.

water arrow: Creates a slippery surface on the road, and will ruin other driver's turning. Can also be used to clean up oil spills.

Fire arrow: Just like the old fire arrows, all the way to the gravity-defying lack of an arc.

Moss arrow: Will create a carpet of moss that will slow other drivers down. Differs from cracker jack in that you can actually moss up a person's wheel(s) if aimed right.

Gas arrow: Has two uses: Can be used to knock people out, or to refuel your own gas tank. Always keep one handy for that reason. NOTE: People who die because of a crash that was caused by going unconscious from these arrows will count as a kill by you.

Rope arrow: Buy in quantities of two. Creates a tripwire. First, fire one rope arrow onto one wall. Be sure to aim ahead so as to give yourself time to fire the next. After that hits, fire the other rope arrow at the other wall. If the two are close together enough, they will form a trip wire. Though you hsould fire the first arrow ahead of you, make sure you are ahead of both before the second one hits.


(Ok, cant think of an effective use of the noisemaker arrow, but a few creative things here and there :D )

dhaelis on 9/4/2003 at 03:09

---

Well, I would've thought that it could be hosted by other body parts, such as [CENSORED] or [REALLY FUCKING CENSORED], but that could be messy.

;)