Shug on 15/7/2011 at 01:23
Quote Posted by gunsmoke
Agreed, Vas! But...
Nothing beats a 1,75 liter bottle of Jim Beam w/a 2 liter bottle of Coca Cola as a chase. Do this with a girl who likes getting tied to the bed with clothesline and you have my Wednesday night. God, I love my life!
1.75L sounds good if all you want to do is fold yourself over the clothesline, limply
dexterward on 15/7/2011 at 10:50
Coca Cola with some booze can act like speed and keep you incredibly drunk, but operational (unfortunately, in most cases).
Starrfall on 16/7/2011 at 03:12
We have recently been lucky enough to discover several previously lost diaries of French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre stuck in between the cushions of our office sofa. These diaries reveal a young Sartre obsessed not with the void, but with the perfect cocktail. Apparently Sartre, before discovering philosophy, had hoped to write "a mixology guide that will put to rest all notions of flavor forever.'' The diaries are excerpted here for your perusal.
---
My margaritas lack excellence. I attempt to capture the essence of La Fiesta but achieve only the most callous of Taco Bell-esque nonsense. The black pepper and pebbles do nothing. Tomorrow I try for a less bourgeois manifestation.
---
I traverse the path to the local Trader Joe's for cheapish booze and citrus. I walk out with cheap Triple Sec and a bag of limes. I collect a garnish of fresh cacti from the carefully landscaped college dorms. Malraux suggests paprika. I am inspired.
---
My attempts at perfecting the margarita continue to meet nothing but black death. I wander the streets of middle class suburbia in vain - Camus sees me outside of Ket Mor Re and calls me a "pathetic dork." I squirt lime juice into his eye. He becomes enraged and retaliates by hurling rock salt into mine. "Ow, you dick!" I cried. I leaped up, cursing and holding my eye, and fled.
---
My eye has become inflamed. I hate Camus.
---
I continue to try new variations. One ton of granite paired with kumquats and broken twigs fails to inspire. Nothing seems to express the futility of my existence better than ordering all-you-can-eat sushi for $4.99. There must be something else. I despair of ever finding it.
---
Camus came into the bar today. He did not know I was there, so I loogied in his Boxcar. Sic semper tyrannis.
---
Today I made a Mojito out of 3 litres of basil and green walnut liqueur, challenging the very meaning of the word "cocktail." Malraux admired it greatly, but refused to drink. He has no understanding of what it means to truly have drunk.
---
The competition was today. In a panic I combine kumquats, green walnut liqueur, and loogies. I come in fourth. Moreover, I am now the subject of a rather nasty lawsuit.
---
I have been running on 18 pints of bathtub gin for two months, and I am now experiencing light hallucinations. It is stupid to be so alcohol tolerant. My pain and ultimate solitude are still as authentic as they were when I was thin, but seem to impress girls far less. From now on, I will live on cigarettes and black coffee.
(because I love (
http://pvspade.com/Sartre/cookbook.html) this so very, very much)
gunsmoke on 19/7/2011 at 15:17
Quote Posted by Tocky
Well it's not skinny dipping in a pool of psilocybin at the playboy mansion but it will do.
psilocybin frequently leads to puking and I am allergic to fake tits
Tocky on 20/7/2011 at 04:07
then by all means avoid the Destroying Angel of both species
I'm going to quit for the night while my eyes are barely red and I'm only annoyed with Camus.
zachary1975 on 20/7/2011 at 20:29
"so what if I have, it makes me fearless, if i see a bad guy i'll just point my sword at him and say, bad guy your not suppost to be hear!! go home or i'll stick you with my sword ouch i'm dead.
doesn't that sound like benny.:cheeky:
demagogue on 20/7/2011 at 21:47
Anyone posting Benny quotes in CommChat is drunker than I thought.
Good show. :thumb:
Vasquez on 5/8/2011 at 17:45
This was on my To Do list, so here goes, bubbbbblyyyyyyyy :joke:
