Snake on 13/9/2008 at 23:53

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I never realised just how ridiculous T2's plot is. Garrett really does get sent on many pointless missions!

Now to erase Digi's summary from my memory so I can go back to thinking its the greatest videogame plot ever....

Digital Nightfall on 14/9/2008 at 00:31

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To be fair...

Garrett steals a scepter, but his fence was put in prison by the Hammers, so he goes to spring him out. Unfortunately he dies as soon as we find him, but we find out news about a bigger treasure, so it's okay. Garrett steals the bigger treasure from the catacombs and then, since Garrett really doesn't like money and really does like stealing, blows it all on a pair of lockpicks. But a crime boss wants Garrett dead and the stupid assassins kill the shopkeeper instead. Garrett gets his revenge, and then, maybe he messes with the local thieves' guild because they have a good treasure too. Meanwhile a woman hired Garrett, because she says bravo about Ramirez, to go steel a sword from a crazy fun house of doom. He does it, oops, I stole it from the owner, he wants me to go to the bad place to get a gemstone. Garrett goes, but instead of squeezing through a window or prying the doors open or using explosives, he leaves and goes on a goose chase through the city, maybe to two places, maybe to four, to bet a bunch of rocks and put them in statues and the doors open. He grabs the eye gemstone. Maybe he blocked the automatic closing doors with a skull and escapes, or maybe he has to run errands for a ghost before he can get out with the gem. He gives the gem to the creepy bald guy, who turns out to be the devil, and the woman is a tree. Your eye is clawed out. Every single thought in your brain turns suddenly to oh shit oh shit oh shit because she actually ripped our your eyeball, and did not put it back when she was done. Keepers save Garrett, because back in T1, Keepers were badasses and they did badass things. He escapes, and goes to the church to help, because they're the only thing more scary than the devil guy. But the devil got there first, tore up the church, and they're hiding. Once Garrett finds them they forget that he's a crook, and get him to fake-out the devil with boobytrapped gemstone, and then he ges magically teleported to a wacky place with slides and mazes and monsters in bubbles. He swaps out one gem for another and Boom, devil man is dead. Keepers meet with Garrett, Garrett tells them to go to hell, the end.

Garrett hears that two families (or something) are fighting over an opal so he steals it for himself. Then he meets with Keepers for some reason and they give him two treasures to steal, one from the pagans and one from the hammerites, but they're not really treasure at all. He steals them, and gets told to sod off. He sneaks around the Keeper place anyway and finds out that the next step in their great plan, which they have been unable to figure out for a million years, is obvious if you read two books or listen to two conversations. He skips off to a mansion out at sea and steals somethingoranother. He goes underground to some place not the lost city and happens to run into a crown, and does something else there I can't remember. Then something else happens. Uhm. A clocktower falls down. The Keepers put Garrett on trial for being bad. Eventually he goes to a haunted house that's also an insane asylum that's also an orphanage that's also a time traveling phone booth that's also a red hot golden ticket to get the game talked about far more than it deserves, and does something with a creepy little girl whose totally unlike any of the other creepy little girls from other games and movies, and then a monster does things but we don't care because Garrett isn't there. Then something else happens. Finally Garrett remembers that the plot has to have enough fan-service to keep the target audience from realising that they just got shafted, and so he goes to steal the Eye, which amazingly has the same voice and the same creepy lines but is totally not creepy anymore. He puts it in a fountain and then we get more fanservice where Garrett meets a girl, and then a thousand slobbering fans decide to make up their own Thief 4 plots around her. Then ION Storm closes. Many years later some taffers in Canada put a T on their facebook page and the Theif fans' heads explode. The end.

Digital Nightfall on 14/9/2008 at 02:31

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ANY story, no matter how fanastic, can be made to sound horrible when put in the kind of langauge used above.

On the other hand, I got a little venty on deadly shadows. :p

Snake on 14/9/2008 at 23:46

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Hmmm.... somebody doesn't like Deadly Shadows... :erg:

(A thousand people put their hands up)

EmperorSteele on 15/9/2008 at 00:04

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To be fair, iirc, the T2 missions were made with almost no plot in mind. Just a basic overview.

It made for some cool enough individual missions, and some good ideas that looked good on the drawing table though failing in execution (Casing a place before a burglary? Sounds logical enough... until you realize that map or not, the player goes into most missions somewhat blind anyway). But anyway, trying to create an overall narrative out of it all? Kinda proved to be T2s undoing.