Raven on 21/1/2005 at 19:20

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"ONE rope arrow….just ONE, and I could have been out of here hours ago…" :joke: . This is great, it is like I don't actually have to play thief 3 again!

fett on 24/1/2005 at 18:03

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Chapter 14 – Pretty Old Quarter – 1:42am

Pretty Old Quarter…not as old as Old Quarter, a little older than New Quarter, but still old in a new kind of way. I really have nothing to say about this place because I’m being hunted down like a dog.

Two shadowy forms slithered out of the Keeper Compound and into the darkness of the Old Quarter night. Faces a mask of mouthless terror, movements a fine tuned mastery of control and precision, voices a dead on impression of Donald Duck on a four-day meth bender.

Find Garrett. Use Caution. He Has Keeper Training. He’s Probably Taking A Long Nap. Does Anyone Have Any Saline Solution? This Contact Is Killing Me.

Garrett smiled smugly, The Enforcers are using telepathy to communicate silently. They don’t know that I can hear them. I don’t know how I can hear them. And it will probably never be explained. Either way, it’ll help me to know when they’re getting close in case I’m distracted by shiny loot up in a window somewhere…

They looked to be fierce competitors and would surely equal him in their ability to blend in with the dark shadows of the night (hence, making said shadows ‘deadly’). They would no doubt be stealthy, lethal, and without weakness. And they looked really really scary.

Garrett had to admit his disappointment when, despite any visible means of obtaining oxygen, two Enforcers went down with a single gas bomb. Up the street he took another out with a few arrows.

These guys are easier to kill than people who are already dead….

The Enforcers tried to maintain secrecy at all times by running wildly through the streets of Pretty Old Quarter, killing all in their path and shouting, “We Are The Keeper Enforcers! Our Compound Is Down The Street! Has Anyone Seen Garrett? No? Then DIE!!!

Very professional.

The Enforcers were so busy killing innocents than Garret was able to get to the rooftops and make his way toward Ramen’s house. His local fence would surely have some good advice for outrunning a huge secret cult bent on your destruction. Fence’s dealt with that sort of thing all the time. And he made a mean noodle soup.

There was a good view of…the street from up here. There are two or three good rooftops in Pretty Old Quarter…they don’t call it ‘The Thieves Rest Stop’ for nothing…

The main thing that was perplexing in Pretty Old Quarter was the number of apartments with no access other than the roof, via a straight climb up a sheer rock wall.

Guess these climbing gloves are becoming more popular all over…

He finally made it to Ramen’s and dropped through a convenient hole in the roof. Ramen was nowhere to be found, but a sickening red substance was seeping into the floor by the table.

Murdered?

No. Garrett found a note nearby:

[indent]
Garrett,
Your friend Ramen has unfortunately gone out to have his hair done. If you’d be so kind as to meet with us in your apartment in Southtowne, we promise to help you and not try to kill you or anything.
Sincerely,
Your really good friends who you’ve never met, so why shouldn’t you trust us?[/indent]

Exactly thought Garrett… why shouldn’t I trust them? There’s nothing at all suspicious about people I don’t know leaving me a note near a puddle of blood in the apartment of my fence, with whom all my dealings are secret. This can only be a good thing. Either that, or a really lazy plot device

Life was looking up. Garrett had always trusted help from complete strangers in the past, so maybe he’d finally caught a break. Back to Southtowne it is.

……………………….
Southtowne – 2:24am

Several days later Garrett had traversed all of the blue mists and returned to Southtowne. A small herd of Enforcers mingled about outside his apartment, smoking cigarrettes and exchanging jokes. Probably just coincidence.

He evaded them and took the stairs two at a time to his rooms. He opened the door to find a Keeper dead on the floor, and an Enforcer sprawled on his couch watching a Conan O’Brein re-run.

“Uh…excuse me? Could you not kill people in my apartment? I’d like to get the deposit back and cleaning this carpet is a real bugger…”

The Enforcer jumped up. I Have Found him! The Brethren And Betrayer! Let Us Take Him Together!

“Who are you talking to? It’s just me and you now pal.” Garrett casually began nocking back a fire arrow, “What happened to your friend there?” he nodded toward the body on the floor.

He Refused To Give Me The Remote. I Will Now Call Upon My Fellow Enforcers To Aid Me!

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see ‘em get through the blue fog at the door. You’re on your own buddy. I’d offer you some brandy to take care of that rasp, but I don’t expect you’ll be talking much after I put this arrow through your heart.”

He let it fly, but the Enforcer proved quicker and side stepped the projectile, waving his hand at Garrett, You Don’t Need To Put An Arrow Through My Heart. The fire arrow crashed into the back wall with a loud explosion.

“Oh but I think I do. And what is it with you guys and the hand waving?”

Suddenly the apartment security guard, Barry (or Larry or Gary or whatever), burst into the room, sword at the ready.

“Garrett!” he quickly surveyed the scene, eyes flicking over the body on the floor, and the black robed Enforcer. “Let me see…dead guy in the living room, masked man I’ve never seen before threatening you with little boomerangs…I must defend the apartment!”

He lunged at Garrett with the sword, nearly skewering him.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Garrett dug around for another gas bomb, “HE’S the intruder! This is MY apartment!”

“Nevertheless,” said the guard, lunging again, “If there’s any violence in the area, I am to immediately suspect you. It’s hardcoded into my psyche. Sorry…”

Everyone has gone mad…

The guard kept yelling out challenges, the Enforcer kept speaking in that hypnotic voice and waving his hand around, Garrett kept dodging both the sword and the boomerangs until he could drop both of them with the gas bomb.

Well, that’s that. Guess I can finally loot the rest of the building now that Jerry’s out of the way. Not like the other residents can run out into the street for help or anything. He looked around at the mess. Looks like I’ll be moving again anyway…

He went to find some carpet cleaner in the back room when a glittering note on the shelf caught his eye.

[indent]Garrett,
You still have friends and allies. We are waiting in the Graveyard of Pretty Old Quarter. We know you just came from there, but since we’re so proud of our nifty new blue fog, we thought we’d let you come back home first, then ask you to return to the exact place you just left. Hope this isn’t an inconvenience. Since you seem to enjoy the blue fog so much, we’ve left some for you at the end of Illegal Establishment Alley in Southetowne. It will take you directly to the Graveyard. Why we haven’t done this before to save you the time have having to walk through the entire City every time you leave your apartment, is a secret too deep to burden your simple mind with. Our efforts to contact you have left us on the outs with Orlando since it necessitated us missing the quarterly Scrabble competition.
Balance,
Your friends. No really. We mean it this time[/indent]

Hmmmm….. thought Garrett… Another mysterious letter left near blood and corpses. Surely this time, no harm is intended.

Back to Pretty Old Quarter it is then.

………………………….

Pretty Old Quarter…again – 3:12am

Garrett slipped into the graveyard behind Fort Ironweed. It seemed vacant, but then, Keepers had a way of showing up late all the time. He waited.

Finally, three of them appeared walking towards him from the other end of the yard, peering back nervously over their shoulders.

“Keepers! Taking a break from trying to kill me?”

“No – taking a break from the Scrabble playoffs. Not all Keepers believe you guilty Garrett.”

The female spoke, “Neither had we the evidence to alter the outcome of your trial. Well…we had some evidence, but apparently, someone,” she glanced contemptuously at the younger Keeper, “left it in the bathroom and the janitor threw it away.”

“The trial was a disgrace,” muttered the young man looking away sheepishly, “Orlando isn’t fit to lead. He’s terrible at shuffleboard…he knows he must replace Cattlecall, and he plans to promote that…that child Lauryn to the position of Interpreter.”

“Is that the creepy translator girl?” asked Garrett, “Has anyone bothered to notice that she’s been about 10 years old for five or six years now? What’s up with that?”

The female dismissed this with a wave, “We’ve formed a little club. The Keeper hierarchy is…in flux. We know Orlando tried to frame you, but we can no more discern his motives than we can discover how he wins the Bingo tournament every single Tuesday night. It’s uncanny.”

“Easy,” Garrett said, “Orlando is the Mole in Our Midst. He knew Cattlecall was onto him, and he needed to kill her before she announced his name, and his Bingo secrets. He thought he could get rid of me at the same time.”

Dramatic music swelled in the background.

“That is only one of many possibilities Garrett,” the female said.

“He has suppressed all prophecies concerning the Cuckoo Clock tower. Have you heard? From above, the beak of the collapsed bird points directly to the Keeper Library!” said the younger Keeper.

“The Evil one will be pointed too,” reflected Garrett.

“It’s as if someone actively seeks to bring the Dark Age upon us. There is a corruption. Whenever the glyphs…”

“Artemus hasn’t been seen since the trial,” the female interrupted, “he confided in me that he no longer knew who to trust. He acted strangely…and secretive.”

“Well, he certainly couldn’t trust you,” the other Keeper exclaimed, “Here you are telling us that he told you he couldn’t tell anyone anything.”

“Yes,” she replied, “But he knew he could trust me to trust you to tell anything that needed to be told, so he told me that no one could be trusted.”

“But you said it was a secret.”

“No,” she sighed, “I said he was acting secretive.”

“Probably because he didn’t know who to trust.”

“Indeed.”

There was a stupid silence for a brief moment as they all tried to absorb this. Garrett rolled his eyes.

“Anyway….?”

“Anyway,” said the other Keeper again, “we don’t know who to trust. The degree to which the glyphs…”

“Orlando fears you still, and he will until the Enforcers…”

“Are you going to let me talk?!!” exclaimed the young man, “You’ve been interrupting me all night.”

“That’s because you're an idiot and contributing nothing to the conversation,” retorted the female, "Anyone who would leave trial evidence just lying around in the bathroom..."

"It was a mistake! Are you going to hound me forever about this? I needed something to read OK??!!"

"Yeah...like you know how to read," she muttered under her breath.

“Oh yeah?! Well I’m not the one acting all high and mighty because Artemus confided in me! Think you’re some kind of big shot? Ooh! Ooh! Look at me!! I’m so wise and privileged! Artemus talks to me!”

“Can we get back to the point here?” Garrett didn’t regret leaving the Keepers. Not for a single second of a single day.

“Orlando has used a binding glyph to seal every glyph door in the City. He is watching all of us. Until you are found, no one may enter or leave the compound. As a matter of fact, security has been so tight, that we had to use the guarded and locked secret tunnel in Orlando’s office in the library. There is much danger, but it is the only way…”

“Perhaps we can help you…”

“THERE YOU GO AGAIN!! Stop interrupting me! It’s annoying and disrespectful!”

“Fine. Finish what you were saying. Go ahead. What’s so important that you MUST finish your sentence?”

He paused a moment, “There is much danger, but it is the only way…uh…the only way out.”

“Thank you. That was very helpful,” sarcasm dripped from her voice, “we are all saved from mortal danger now that you've finished.”

“It doesn’t matter!” he yelled, “It’s the principle of the thing! Geez! The Jedi don’t interrupt each other, I can tell you that!”

“Then maybe you should join the Jedi!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Maybe you should!”

“MAYBE I WILL!!”

”MAYBE YOU SHOULD!!!!”

“Hey! Keep it down out there!” yelled a Hammerite from the porch of Fort Ironweed, “You’re going to wake the dead!”

As if on cue, a chilling moaning sound erupted all around the three Keepers. They suddenly noticed that Garrett was no longer in their company.

“Garrett? Garrett? Great!” the female shoved the male roughly by the shoulder, “Now we’re going to actually have to defend ourselves against zombies. Do you have any holy water?”

"Maybe you should offer to sleep with them," he hissed, "that would freeze them cold."

"Maybe I will!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD....!!!"

Yos on 24/1/2005 at 20:00

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Can the Enforcers get any more dumb? Funniest chapter yet! :laff: :thumb:

The Rogue Wolf on 24/1/2005 at 20:46

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:wot:

...

:laff:

Bravo! I can't wait for the Cradle! :thumb:

Karlfox on 25/1/2005 at 00:22

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That makes two of us then :thumb: