The Shroud on 30/10/2009 at 04:31

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I figured it's about time to show another excerpt - this time some character-interaction, as I've already shown some action sequences. Nothing too long (4 pages/minutes), since it takes forever to convert the formatting - but hope you like it. This is immediately following the Bafford's manor sequence.

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[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]EXT. ALLEY BEHIND CUTTY’S PAWN SHOP - NEXT DAY - ESTABLISHING

As pedestrians pass through the nearby COBBLESTONE STREETS, a
hooded, brown-robed figure (Garrett) arrives at the back of a
secluded pawn shop and knocks on the recessed door. Moments
later, the shopkeeper (CUTTY, 45) opens the door and grins.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]CUTTY
Garrett. Come in.[/CENTER]


[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]INT. BACK ROOM - CUTTY’S PAWN SHOP - MOMENTS LATER

Garrett enters, lowering his hood as Cutty locks the door.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]GARRETT
How’s business, Cutty?

CUTTY
Been sparse ever since the Hammers
started snooping about. I’ve been strapped
for weeks.

GARRETT
More inspections huh?

CUTTY
They’ve been cracking down all over
Stonemarket. Clients are getting
squeamish.

GARRETT
Heh. If only the Hammers knew what
goes on right under their noses.

CUTTY
(smirking)
Do you have it?[/CENTER]

[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Reaching into his robe, Garrett brings out the scepter.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]GARRETT
As promised.

CUTTY
Ahh -- Bafford's prized ruby
scepter. Magnificent.

GARRETT
Silver, jewels, the usual
adornments. It should command a
high price.

CUTTY
That it should. Well done --
(reaching for the scepter)

GARRETT
Not so fast, old man. There's still
a small matter of payment to be
settled.

CUTTY
Of course.[/CENTER]

[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Moving behind a counter, Cutty produces a sack of gold coins
and hands it over to Garrett.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]CUTTY
Here.[/CENTER]

[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Exchanging the scepter for the sack, Garrett begins quickly
counting the coins as Cutty puts the scepter away.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]CUTTY (CONT’D)
Bafford’s loss was the talk of the
town this morning. The whole city’s
speculating over who could have
pulled it off. Even the Downwinders
haven’t got a clue.

GARRETT
There's only one-fifty here.
Where's the rest?

CUTTY
The deal fell through with the
buyer. I had to take a lower bid.
That's the best I could get you,
I’m afraid.

GARRETT
Our agreement was two-hundred.

CUTTY
That was contingent on the buyer's
offer. Since the price dropped, so
does your cut. Sorry, old friend,
but that's how the hammer falls in
this business.

GARRETT
(coldly)
Good thing you're strapped, Cutty --
or I'd have to clean you out for shorting me -- again.

CUTTY
Snap, snap, puppy! You're lucky I
do business with you at all. Not
many fences would risk dealing with
an independent like you.

GARRETT
Not many would risk stiffing me,
either.

CUTTY
Maybe. But the other choice is to
let one of the so-called "City
Wardens" give you orders -- and
take a cut of your profits.

GARRETT
(stashing the sack)
So they keep telling me.

CUTTY
Ramirez's goons still harassing
you?

GARRETT
(nodding)
They've been after me for years to
join one of their stables but I'm
not interested.

CUTTY
(sarcastically)
Maybe they'll get the idea and give
up?

GARRETT
Heh. More likely they'll just ramp
up the threats.

CUTTY
That's a dangerous edge you're
walking, Garrett.

GARRETT
Nothing I can't handle if I'm
careful -- and lucky.

CUTTY
Well, your luck seems to have
finally turned for the better -- a
woman named Victoria was asking for
you earlier.
(MORE)

CUTTY (cont'd)
Said she had a job for a skilled
thief -- something too sensitive
for the usual channels. I told her
I'd pass on the word, see if you
were interested.

GARRETT
Victoria? Never heard of her. Got
anything on her background?

CUTTY
I did some digging before you
arrived. She's an independent fence
-- previously Raputo's. Deals in
exotics, medicinals and the like --
not my trade. No known
organization. She’s reputed to have
contact with second-tier nobility,
the Grand Library, and even the
Order of the Vine.

GARRETT
Sounds pretty well-connected. Did
she mention anything about the job?

CUTTY
She wouldn't give me any details --
just said to inquire at the
Crippled Burrick pub if you were
interested.[/CENTER]

[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Pulling up his hood, Garrett heads for the door.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[CENTER]GARRETT
Thanks for the tip.

CUTTY
Going to check it out?

GARRETT
(shrugging)
Not like I have a whole lot of
choice, really -- got some old
debts to pay off and the rent is
due. And my landlord's even tougher
than the Hammers.

CUTTY
(chuckling and waving)
Be seeing you, Garrett.[/CENTER]

[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Garrett waves and exits the shop, closing the door after him.[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

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Namdrol on 30/10/2009 at 07:47

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:thumb::thumb:
Thanks

Echelon5 on 30/10/2009 at 13:44

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VERY nice! I was waiting anxiously for the "snap snap, puppy!" line and you did not disappoint. :D

The Shroud on 30/10/2009 at 19:57

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Fair points, Beleg. I'll give it some thought.

The Shroud on 30/10/2009 at 21:39

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Garrett and Cutty know that, but the audience won't - which is why, I suspect, the original LGS people wrote it that way - so that the audience gets the idea these "so-called City Wardens" are somehow illegitimate and corrupt.