<Username> on 1/2/2021 at 22:08
No dedicated thread for this (
https://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110560) Total Crap FM Contest submission from 2006, so I made one. I had forgotten all about this mission in the last 14 years. I think this was because it does not have enough playtime to leave a lasting impression: I clocked in at just over 16 minutes. Additionally, the missions from this contest blur into each other in my mind because they tend to feature similarly ugly architecture and broken objects.
The mission info file states the release date as Nov 28, 2006. The thread in which the mission was released is from Dec 7, 2006. Not sure where this disparity comes from. The mission info file also was not updated after the initial release. It still lists the author as "Anonymous". But every database I visited says the author is Drysils Chosen.
I honestly enjoyed Half-Blind. It does exactly what the contest was intended for: hilariously bad architecture, lighting, texturing, object placement, readables and gameplay. There are a couple of creative surprises which I liked and don't want to spoil for you.
[SPOILER]* Near the starting area, there is a looping disembodied voice: "Garrett! It's good to see you again..." It is a monologue that feels like it was intended for an AI interaction that the author could not make work. The line delivery is incredibly bad and there are awkward pauses between them. Made me chuckle quite a bit, especially when the voice came back after an especially long, unnecessary pause.
* The objectives read like you are supposed to get your mechanical eye back, and while there is a camera eye to be found in the mission, but then the real objective is The Eye. I think the confusion might have been intentional.
* The objectives work, but are not set up correctly. Find flash bombs? The objective "Get your eye back" ticks off. Hit an unkillable thief in the catacombs you are supposed to kill? The objective "Get some flash bombs" ticks off. Pick up The Eye in the catacombs? The objective "Kill the thief" ticks off. This was so broken and I loved it.
* The wrong Garrett quip is triggered when you pick up The Eye. It is the line about the most inviting sewers he has ever seen. That was funny because it was so out of place.
* You get your sword by pulling it out of the body of a servant who walks around undeterred while it is sticking through his chest.
* There are Mechanists inside a building marked with Hammerite symbols. When I played the mission, they got attacked and killed by a metal beast. Normally, Mechanists and metal beast work together. This was probably intentionally broken.
* There is a sentient basketball near the graveyard. When I was hiding from a haunt, the basketball somehow, surprisingly killed the haunt.
* Leading down to the catacombs is one of the most awkwardly placed ladders I have seen outside of a Dront mission.
* A scroll with important story details near where you pick up The Eye just ends mid-sentence, as if the author had run out of interest.
* The mission info file is named "blarg.text". It also incorrectly lists the mission title as "The Hidden Stone". The objectives contain several typos. No proofreading was the right decision for this particular contest.[/SPOILER]
Psych0sis on 1/2/2021 at 23:55
Awesome! Thanks for the thread!
Random_Taffer on 2/2/2021 at 03:47
Quote Posted by <Username>
[SPOILER]* Near the starting area, there is a looping disembodied voice: "Garrett! It's good to see you again..." It is a monologue that feels like it was intended for an AI interaction that the author could not make work. The line delivery is incredibly bad and there are awkward pauses between them. Made me chuckle quite a bit, especially when the voice came back after an especially long, unnecessary pause.
[/SPOILER]
Yes, lol. He was especially proud of this. It was a little on the nose for me as you can clearly tell he's trying too hard to deliver the lines as badly as possible- with music and other things in the background the whole time as well. For me it would have been better if he could have made it seem like an honest try to make it awesome, but it ended up awful. Like Troll 2.
Hard to do...
<Username> on 2/2/2021 at 11:41
Quote Posted by Random_Taffer
For me it would have been better if he could have made it seem like an honest try to make it awesome, but it ended up awful. Like Troll 2.
Coincidentally, Troll 2 is one of my favourite movies: highly entertaining in its ineptitude. There is an intersection between my love for schlocky movies and my interest in bad Thief fan missions.
My personal assessment of Half-Blind is: Drysils Chosen succeeded in creating an off-the-wall, awful, yet hilarious fan mission, true to the spirit of the Total Crap FM Contest.
